Well I was amused, nay inspired, by a recent posting by JM quoting a former US President…
Ha! And I thought wouldn’t it be fun to do a few spoof quotes on my business website, http://www.itswriteforyou.co.uk, where I have a section on Words of the Day, which has fallen into some disrepair. I’d intended to post an inspirational quote from somebody every day but I’ve become disillusioned by today’s media obsession with fatuous twitter quotes from vacuous c-list celebrities. It seems like nobody’s said anything meaningful since Mandela in his prime. So why not be creative with a few quotes then?
Well a short posting just to say how much we’ve enjoyed, maybe that’s not the right word as it’s been so bleak, so perhaps I should say… been gripped by the series The Missing which concluded last night. For those who haven’t yet seen it, it’s about a family whose young child disappears whilst on a family holiday in France. The programme follows the parents’ attempts, assisted by the local authorities, to find out what happened to him over the years as their marriage deteriorates and they encounter a host of unsavoury characters.
Oh it’s Xmas time and you can tell because the pretentious perfume ads are on every ad break and they’re driving me nuts. There’s a real lulu from Dolce & Gabbana directed by Martin Scorcese – Martin frigging Scorcese !! – featuring Scarlett Johansson who has the allure to really move me but all she does in this bit of expensive nonsense is move my stomach. It and she are truly dreadful.
But my award this year for the olfactory bag of broken spanners goes to Chanel No 5 for their ad featuring Gisele Bundchen on the grounds, I guess, that employing the most beautiful model in the world will turn even the most overblown ad into a work of art. Wrong. Here’s the plot – miserable-looking bloke stares out of a window of a wonderful Malibu beach house whilst some equally sad-sounding sod sings the words of one of the most joyous of songs, ‘You’re The One That I Want’ as a sad lament…
….you better understand
To my heart I must be true
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do….
You see he’s looking on as his woman, Gisele, is off in the ocean surfing. She’s always frigging surfing. And he’s left at home looking after her brat of a kid who she had after some sordid fling with a celebrity photographer. If that’s not bad enough but as soon as she’s stripped off her gear to reveal her incredible figure, she’s off modelling. Where does he fit in eh? He’s very low down on her list of priorities. So, touched by the poignant words of the highly emotional song from the classic voices of Olivia Newtown-John and John Travolta, he leaves her a slightly cryptic note basically saying he’s frigging had enough of being treated like a plaything and is off to watch his special friend the soulful male singer doing his cabaret stuff. He at least knows how to treat a man in a cool sky blue suit. Bitch.
Gisele is distraught. What’s happened to her incredible lover, thingy…. She spots the letter and figures out from his subtle clues that he’s about to go and get jiggy with singer Ziggy. So off she drives in her open top sports car and before you can say ‘Coco would be turning in her grave’ she’s crossing the bridge into Manhattan and turns up at the theatre just in time to prevent thingy from gettin’ it on with Ziggy the biggy. She thrusts her tongue down thingy’s throat and they live happily ever after…well until next Xmas.
I nearly cried when I watched the ad. But I went and read some electricity bills and managed to recover. If you want to dig deep within and find yourself emoted enough to want to go and buy some Chanel No5 you’ll enjoy this…
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I happen to really like the film The Godfather. Even now I can watch it, fascinated. And that’s exactly what we did last Monday evening. But rather than view it on the small screen, C and I were treated by our lovely daughters E and S (and husbands of course) to a night at the Royal Albert Hall where Francis Ford Coppola’s timeless masterpiece was shown on the big screen whilst Nino Rota’s immortal score was performed simultaneously by the Philharmonia Orchestra. It was fabulous. And here’s the haunting overture just as a reminder…
If you can think of a better opening soundtrack, well, shout but I’ll take some convincing. And don’t forget I’m a superstitious man, and if some unlucky accident should befall your suggestion; if it should get shot to pieces by a police officer, or if it should get hanged up to dangle provocatively, or if it were to get struck by a bolt of lightning, then I’m going to blame some of the people in this posting. And that, I do not forgive.
But, that aside, let me say that I swear – on the souls of my grandchildren – that I will not be the one to break the hearts of those who may make alternative suggestions here today….
ps the performance was absolutely sold out and here’s a view of the stage and the screen from our seats just before the show began. Incredibly we got there early for once! It seems like a long time since I was managing all the corporate hospitality for Cellnet/O2&BT and had the best box in the house, immediately overlooking the stage and attending all the great RAH events; Clapton, Cirque, Cream, Carmen, Carmina, Cliff and the Christmas Carol Concert sponsored by BT (and getting to events with seconds to spare). Actually I never went to the last two. Anyway I’ve never been up in the circle before and it was brilliant. Thank you guys LY D x
I bought C one of those bars of chocolate inspired by the Sainsbury’s Xmas tv commercial which I saw the other night, the one celebrating the WW1 footie match between the British and German troops during a lull in the fighting over Xmas 1914. I don’t know about you but I reckon it’s by a country mile the best tv commercial of the festive season. And spookily it has just appeared on tv as I begin to write this. That is eerie.
Quite a few people have jumped to the head of my NVL list this last week and to the tune Twelve Days of Xmas, they comprise 3 Tory grandees; 2 pompous wankers and a mad old bird in the jungle trees.
My good friend Simon pointed out that on Question Time the other night they were discussing the issue of whether Sheffield United should allow their former player Ched Evans to resume training with the club (and maybe even re-sign for them) now that he’s served his prison sentence for raping a girl – a verdict he intends to contest it seems. Continue reading