All to cock McClaren rescued A. Le Coq


Wouldn’t it be great if McClaren could just select the Beckham right foot in his England team? I think that’s what he originally intended by banishing the rest of the body and the circus to the history bag last year. Ah well Steve, never mind about principles when your £1.5m pa salary’s under threat. Beckham was back and saved your job last night. A 3-0 win against the mighty Estonia was OK. The result was everything last night I guess. Two very sweet crosses from that incomparable right foot did the trick. The headlines are all yours David.

Rest of the performance? Well Beckham did his best to bugger up central defence and midfield at times. Can’t anyone tell him to just stay out wide and do what he does better then anyone else? And there was that injury to the ankle which I thought deserved a Bafta for the agony poses alone. Will he play for Real this weekend? Will Chris Moyles continue to track my comments about him? Think we know the answer. But the thing I’ve most enjoyed about DB’s return is not the new hairstyle but the look on El Tel’s face whenever the Quiff turns to him after every one of DB’s magic moments. Priceless.

And the team? Well Crouch proved himself a handful all night – at 6’7” he is going to trouble most defenders let’s face it. Owen still looked way short of match fitness and I suspect he’s lost forever that pace edge that he once had. My good mate Lol always reckoned he had a poor first touch which his pace tended to mask. But it looks a glaring problem now. Still he scored, albeit a scruffy goal off a beautiful pass, so maybe he’s worth persevering with.

But if you think about it, that was the same forward line and midfield with which Sven started the World Cup. Against Estonia who are say Div 2 quality, it looked OK but against decent opposition as in the WC, England really struggled. Last night we scored from a long throw in and two DB long balls up into the box. It’s not really what you’d call the beautiful game is it? I’m very much of the view that Crouch is an honest player who always gives 120%, plays with real attitude, has good feet for a big fella and is a bloody handful. He’d always be in my squad (if only so he could bring his lovely girlfriend along) as a Plan B or C player because even Nesta wouldn’t fancy 40 minutes against him. But I wouldn’t start with him because the temptation to bang it up to him from the first minute is irresistible, especially with DB there in the side. I’d rather see Rooney upfront as a slightly withdrawn striker plus one, preferably a real pacey guy or natural front man. Could be Owen – they’ve rarely played together so who knows if they can gel?

Rest of the guys did alright against crap opposition, who still created enough decent chances to have drawn last night. So it wasn’t brilliant in midfield or in defence. The return of Neville, Ferdinand, Hargreaves will be welcome for the bigger games to come next season. Cole for Bridge? – thought WB did just fine last night. Lampard as I keep droning on needs a long rest. He can come back better and stronger as the alternate to Gerrard.

So there we have it, England back in the hunt I suppose but I’m disappointed that the win also means the Quiff keeps the job for another 3 months at least. Despite now being bound for the Mickey Mouse League, DB’s surely engineered his way towards his 100th cap. Can you see him scoring the goal that takes England to a win in his 100th international against Croatia at Wembley, to qualify for Euro 2008, followed by a press conference next morning (with new Caligula hairstyle) announcing HIS decision to retire from international football? Quick cut to faces of McQuiff and El Tel trying very hard to look pleased for him. Oooh that would be a moment to savour.

Next day DB announces the 5th book in his autobiographic series entitled My Right Foot. That afternoon El Tel announces at a press conference that he is resigning from the role of assistant manager to Steve McClaren and will be taking up his position as new manager at Hearts with immediate effect. Asked how he could possibly entertain working with volatile Chairman Vladimir Romanov, Dagenham Tel laughed and said ‘I’ve been working with a prize prick for the last two years so old Romy should be a doddle’.

Next day Brian ‘brainiac’ Barwick announces that ‘Steve McClaren is a brilliant manager for having guided England to the highly lucrative, sorry I mean internationally significant Euro 2008 Championships. To secure his services for another 6 years we have awarded Steve a significant pay rise to £3m pa and we hope he will be our manager through to when we win the 2014 World Cup in Belgium, the home of Tin Tin and the inspiration for Steve’s unique hairstyle, which we’ve adopted for our mascot for the tournament.’

Next day internationally renowned blogger, Pasta Paulie, announces he is retiring from writing about England football to focus on listenning to Chris Moyles’ Radio 1 show. It’s far less painful said a tearful PP.

PP

Advertisements
This entry was posted in football and tagged , , , by Paul. Bookmark the permalink.

About Paul

Having decided on a change of life by moving home from the UK to Italy, this is the story and thoughts of a man on a personal journey from the Blackpool Tower to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, in search of la dolce vita. After several olive harvests he's now back in London but en route he shares his very personal perspectives on life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s