Poulter; pretty in pink?

Is it just me or is Ian Poulter becoming the sporting Karl Lagerfeld? In case you don’t know Poulter is one of England’s best golfers. He has a penchant, a bit like Lagerfeld, for sporting blonde-enhanced hair and regulation clothes of the trade, but significantly exaggerated. So we see couturier Lagerfeld wearing those trademark sunglasses and odd ‘Goodfellahs’ shirts with narrow collars and big showing cuffs. Poulter’s almost as well known for his pretty sensational golfing gear which has included Union Jack trousers, Stars and Stripes trousers (both hideous), Ryder Cup images on his kecks, highly co-ordinated plus four combos and a lot more. He’s a golfing dandy from Milton Keynes and a gooner fan. He’s even sported the redcurrant (is that a colour?) celebration Arsenal shirt on the tour. But today I saw something pretty wild on my tv screen worn by the Poultmeister.

He’s apparently just launched a range of golfing gear – he must think this stuff looks cool, fair enough. So all this week at the Scottish Open he’s been wearing examples of the new range during his rounds and promoting it like crazy at every interview. You’d expect better from the BBC than to shamelessly help him promote his new clothing range. But the broadcaster has little sense of what’s seemly and appropriate these days. So every chat featured a conversation about the ‘bruised’ lilac tartan ensemble (I kid you not) or daily colour co-ordinated equivalent. If only he’d focused on the golf rather than his pretty extensive spread of partner outlets – over 60 – that are selling his gear, I bet he could have bloody won this tournament. As it was an anonymous Frenchman did, full credit to him. He didn’t talk about clothes at all this week.

But today Poulter surely lost all true sense of focus on his game as he sported the frigging worst set of golfing gear I’ve seen on a wet and windy Scottish course. Let’s face it we’ve all seeen some outrageous lime green/purple/shorts/checks/ jumper combos but thankfully Ronnie Corbett’s appearances on ‘A Round with Allis’ finished years ago. But f**k me today Ian you looked an elegant cove but a complete prick. It wasn’t that you were wearing pink – after all Ernie Els was wearing a pinkish kind of pique shirt today. No it’s that you were wearing a black shirt (was it the bruised variety?) with pink eye shade, pink trousers and pink golf shoes. Pink golf shoes!! What, you found those in the local pro shop Ian? I hope you make a fortune son but I hate to play the game already and if I had to allow some tw*t in pink trousers and shoes to play through I think I might just head off for the clubhouse and have a lot of beer to compensate. And I don’t drink the stuff. You’re talented and full of business ideas but that’s not a good look son. Forgive me but you looked like a panda’s prick.


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About Paul

Having decided on a change of life by moving home from the UK to Italy, this is the story and thoughts of a man on a personal journey from the Blackpool Tower to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, in search of la dolce vita. After several olive harvests he's now back in London but en route he shares his very personal perspectives on life.

4 thoughts on “Poulter; pretty in pink?

  1. Paul,

    As much as I love and respect you as an uncle, these feelings are being very quickly extinguished knowing that you spent an entire afternoon watching golf on the television. Now I know you do a lot of this blog stuff on football – always a good read, especially on ‘Lovejoy!’- it’s now going to be debatable on whether I get up early on a Saturday morning following a heavy Friday night out after work. But, back to the point – you watched golf – on a Sunday.

    Fair shout, you mock the outfits of a certain ‘in the closet’ golfer, but golf Paul?! I think all that pesto and Pinot has gone to your head.

    Less than three weeks to go until the football season starts with Man Utd taking on Chelsea (ticket already sorted)in the Community Shield so just hang on in there when it comes to watching sport at the weekend. Avoid golf at all costs and try and fill the time by playing football in the park, completing your Fantasy League team for the forthcoming season and educating your nephews (one of which is now at an impressionable age) that the only team they should support is Manchester United.

    Rant over. I do agree though, that all Poulter looked like an Umpa Lumpa had thrown up on him. And I only knew that because it was in the paper which I happended to notice whilst reading the FOOTBALL pages.

    No more golf.


  2. ha! hi russ. fair but biting comments. but what else is there to do in this crap weather? i had a suntan till we came back to sell this bloody house sorry charming 400year old prime location jewel with tons of historic features and exquisite garden just walking distance from centre of historic Buckingham.

    i just see something which tickles, amuses or riles me and shout my mouth off. maybe ian poulter’s togs weren’t so bad that they justified a whole rant but he did look like a frigging page boy at jordan’s wedding.

    to be honest i can’t wait for the footie to start again. i bet we sell the house the day the season re-starts! please.

    take care


  3. hi rj

    you’re right and it’s probably bigger than the total GDP of S SAmerica, Africa and E Europe.

    If ian poulter makes more than £100 from the pink golf shoes line i’ll wear a pair to watch Millwall v West Ham. It’s not a match for the faint-hearted!

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