No more football postings for a while – it’s just too depressing at the moment. So back to ad watch and two stinkers which have cheered me up with their awfulness this week. The first is the latest ad for PC World – it’s like all the rest in the series, full of happy smiling informed assistants (ha!) dressed in lurid purple shirts offering snappy selling points on the latest piece of laptop technology they’re trying to flog off.
I don’t understand any of it – it’s got a lovely vista with 120 gigabytes of standby-battery power and the memory of 2 rams with hard-drive and overbite. Plus there’s an pent-up processor from intel lurking inside – queue dongy jingle and swirly intel logo – then from out of nowhere this animated hand shoots through the screen bearing an unmistakable Micheal Jackson silver glove to shake the customer’s hand. Is MJ an ambassador or something? Anyway the twist in this ad is that the lady customer asks the assistant if they can help her to get the thing installed at home. Are you serious love? But lo! no problem says the assistant and screen fades to black as the irritating PC World chorus chirrups in the background.
That’s it I thought, another forgettable and disbelievable ad from the lavender shirted mob. Hang on, at the end of the commercial break the ad is given a 5 sec reprise in that clunky way beloved of ad agencies and we see the lady customer in her home sat in front of the now live PC screen with a handsome technical home help guy looming over her asking if there’s anything else he can help with. It’s a moment straight from Carry On Online! and I’d have loved it if she said dirtily ‘well you could show me your lovely big docking device’ and bit her lip. Now that would have been an ad but they bottle it of course and instead she wimpers something pitiful like ‘no that’s fine thank you’. Very PC. On cue the PC World jingle chimes up again. Groan. Formulaic and annoying and what a missed opportunity for a bit of fun. I can’t remember the product either. 3 out of 10
The second ad is for a new vacuum cleaner from Miele. Dopey guy’s doing the hoovering with his new Miele. Incongruously there’s a little pooch beside him with a lead on. Whilst his back’s turned attractive other half comes in and picks up the dog whilst removing its lead, which the lazy bitch leaves on the floor. I bet you can’t tell where this is headed. Off she toddles with the dog. Oblivious dopey bloke moves around and hoovers up the lead. There’s a bit left hanging out the end. Now the gap on the suction vent on the Miele is about an inch across but we’re supposed to believe this f*ckwit thinks he’s hoovered up the mutt. Voiceover announces that the Miele has really great suction power (at-home perverts will love that). Cue to the end scene with dopey guy on the ground whistling into the machine in the hope of hearing something from little Rover. Cute wife seen entering in the background clutching Rover and wondering what on earth he’s doing. I know the feeling love. No doubt the agency will say it’s all intended to be viewed ironically. Bugger off. What a waste of 30 seconds and about as funny as herpes. 2 out of 10
Seen any ads that make you howl or hoot? Go on make my day ad punks.