sorry chuck

It sounds very Lancashire but actually it’s an apology to Chuck Berry for plagiarising the wonderful lyrics to one of his greatest songs, Johnny B Goode, the sentiments of which are far dirtier than most people realise. But the song seems to be being played all over the media as a kind of hymn to Johnny Wilkinson aching for him to do something brilliant again tonight. I’ve just been to the shops to buy some bread and milk and bumped into the guy who used to cut my hair. He was already unbelievably excited (at 8.30 in the morning!) about the prospects tonight, as indeed was the lady behind the till. In seconds the whole shop joined in the chat and everyone was saying stuff like ‘Johnny can do it’ and ‘come on Johnny’. So here’s to you Mr Wilkinson:

(Final verse)

His mother told him ‘some day you will be a man’

And you will be the leader of a big old band

Of brothers wearing the white and the rose

Looking to you to drop the killer goals

Then we’ll know your name will be in lights

Singing Johnny be good tonight

Go, go

Go Johnny go

Go, go

Go Johnny go

Go, go

Johnny be your brilliant best!

Sentimental nonsense I know but I can’t think of anything sensible to write any longer. Swing low, aim true, sing hard and cry God for Johnny, England and St George. Come on England. Leave those Boks reeling and a-rocking.

p p

world champions…maybe

There’s a realistic chance that after this weekend we’ll have two more World Champions from this country; the England rugby team of course and Lewis Hamilton representing the UK in the F1 Championship. All they have to do respectively is a) beat the team who beat them 36-0 in the pool stage and absolutely mullahed them in two tests before the RWC and b) just beat the two best drivers in the world with more experience than himself. Easy. Continue reading

voting fiascos – phone the BBC, ITV, GMTV, Channel 4, Channel 5

Is it just me or are you angry too about all the revelations over irregularities in premium rate phone calling/voting patterns affecting some of the most popular programmes from our national tv broadcasters? The BBC and Channels 4 & 5 have all been found to have cheated/misled their audiences. Even Sky, who have taken a lofty position over the issue, had to admit last week to ‘technical problems’ that had caused one of their contestants on Cirque du Celebrite to be wrongly evicted. Yesterday the Deloitte audit into 60 ITV programmes found ‘serious editorial issues’ over the way premium/voting lines had been managed. Some £7.8m will need to be refunded by the company as ‘problems’ were identified with more than 10m calls from viewers. Mind you that pales in comparison with the irregularities involving 25m calls to GMTV, who were recently fined £2m by Ofcom for ‘widespread and systemmatic deception’. You or I would be standing before a magistrate by now. Continue reading

long-forgotten ad technique

The last couple of mornings I’ve been watching some early morning repeats of Will and Grace/Frasier.  In the mid – programme break I’ve witnessed a long forgotten advertising technique, something I haven’t seen in years. It is a still ad – a single image  advert for an antiques fair to be held in Buxton, I think.  There was a crappy shot of some furniture and tons of copy – too much to take in, because the ad was only on screen for a few seconds. No soundtrack, no voice-over just the single-frame ad. It reminded of those naff ads for Indian restaurants or the local vets you used to get in the cinema before the main feature – real home-made ads. Advertising agencies? Pah! Waste of bloody money, how hard can it be to do a f**king advert? Well harder than you suppose. I haven’t seen an ad like that on the TV since the 60’s.  Is it a throw-back or a very clever retro idea designed to get my attention and write to all my friends about it? Nah would I fall for that……?   Just the 4 out of 10 for cheap-skating.

things i like about France (no really)

I think I was a little excited by the England’s win in the RWC semi-final when I wrote the recent posting about my top 10 favourite victories over the French. I’ve had a few comments about it. I’m not going to apologise because it was a bit of harmless fun and I’m broad-shouldered enough to realise that the French could compile an equally long and light-hearted look at their famous moments over us. Like er…. Continue reading

from russia with a loss

Well that was a desperately disappointing set of results tonight. England played well for 70 minutes, really well, but 5 minutes of poor defending cost them the match. It was a game that should have been safe after Rooney scored a belting first goal. Those misses by Gerrard and Richards looked more horrible each time they were replayed. I think everyone agrees it was a clumsy tackle by Rooney that led to the penalty but it was clearly outside the area. What was the point in sticking Lescott in there as a third central defender and expecting Joe Cole/Rooney to cover at left back given how well the Russians played against regular full backs in the second half at Wembley? And is that now the end of Robinson’s time in goal? Is there any hope of Russia dropping points against a disinterested Israel? I wouldn’t bet the house on it. The only saving grace in all this is that McQuiff Moscow now.

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Does the PM get PMT before PMQ?

Is it just me or is Gordon Brown hopeless at PM’s question time? It’s a half hour opportunity every Wednesday for MPs to question the Prime Minister on policy or other key issues of the day, and it is broadcast. I bet the PM wishes it wasn’t. He’s done it a few times now and you would have expected a consummate political heavyweight like Gordon Brown to have got over his first day nerves now. But he seems wracked with tension as he steps up to the despatch box.

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bolton sack lee shock

Er hardly. Well several of us have been saying it from the day he was appointed that Sam Lee wouldn’t last long as Bolton manager and this morning he’s left the club. ‘By mutual consent’ it’s said, but that’s just a sop as we all know. He just didn’t look like a leader to me; it’s nothing to do with him being short (it didn’t stop Napoleon), but having the moniker Little Sammy Lee – especially following a guy referred to as Big Sam Allardyce – just doesn’t help him be authoritative. He had to be smart to prove his qualities but he made the mistake of trying to act and look tough. Continue reading