get her out of here!

I don’t know if you caught the end of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here (for US readers it’s a reality tv show involving low grade UK Celebrities holed up in the Australian jungle eating bugs, kangaroo testicles and other titbits) but it was as predictable as sin don’t you think? Everybody’s favourite panto Dame and Camp Freddy impressionist the mighty Biggins beat uber bitch model from the US, Janice Dickinson, to the title of King of the Jungle. Yawn. What pleased me about the result was that it not only brought an end to this tiresome charade but it also mercifully killed off the crap bumper ad breaks from programme sponsors Iceland. In case you don’t know these featured ex IACGMOOH jungle mates Jason Donovan and the talentless porker Kerry Katona.

I don’t know if Iceland’s Marketing team are headed up by Steve McClaren but it wouldn’t surprise me. These crappy ads promoting their range of Xmas party food are as toe-curlingly awful as England’s performances in the Euro qualifiers. M&S’s ads for their party selection make you want to dive in the telly to sample the stuff. They are so beautifully shot and presented/introduced. But Iceland’s approach is to put as much food out on display as is humanly possible and then show the hapless Jason and ham-acting (how appropriate) Kerry gorging themselves as if at some baccanallian feast. She cannot act but it doesn’t matter as her mouth is permanently stuffed full of cream or vol au vents as she struggles to get any meaningful words out. I don’t know if she’s pregnant at the moment ( she breeds like a rabbit so she probably is) but it looks like she’s not been holding back on the Iceland black forest gateaux range. She’s got more timber on her than in a Travis Perkins yard.

Why oh why Iceland think that this pair of half wits will make folk want to emulate their party scoffing I do not know. It’s just appalling sponsor advertising. And here’s the thing, last night I saw their follow up regular tv ad. It showed the KK porkmeister introducing Iceland’s latest culinary delight – the prawn ring. I kid you not. Some revolting thing that looks like a seafood wreath. The tag-line is something punny like ‘the prawn of a new era’ delivered with all the acting charm of Free Willy’s Keiko the killer whale by Kerry the sperm whale.

I cannot give the ads any more than 1 out of 10. Dire.


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