I’m worried that some of the postings might be getting a little gloomy so I thought I’d cheer it up a bit with a recommendation for a beach game perfected by my brother D and I. Lots of folks are trying to get away to the sun for a short winter break and if you’re lucky enough to escape the fog and land somewhere balmy over the next few days, good on yer. If you’re going with some friends or family I’d recommend the game of sit down dare once you’ve been baking on the beach for a few hours and need some cooling down.
Firstly it’s not really a game for women – saggy bikini bottoms aren’t a good look (though they can look v funny). And it might be a bit too much for young kids. But it makes for a great challenge with your mates. The idea is to sit in the surf where the sea hits the beach. A strongish incoming tide is best. Sand without some pebbles is ok, but the most challenging form of the game is the sandy beach with pebbly shallows.
The idea is to sit there legs ajar pointing out to sea with the surf lapping up to your chest. Try not to form an immovable object, it’s best to let the force of the wave take you where you will. You’ll be amazed by how strong the sea can be and within 15 minutes you’ll have bruises from the stones pummelling your legs and body and sand will be everywhere – in your trunks’ pockets and flaps plus in virtually every cavity of your body. Your trunks will have 5 or 6 lbs of sand in the gusset as you waddle back to your loved one, upper thighs chafing quite badly. By this stage you’ll have been moved 50 ft down the beach so the walk back becomes increasingly sore.
It sounds like a trial and it is but great fun and the winner is last one out or if you decide to call it a time draw, the one with the greatest weight of sand in their shorts/orifices. You’ll have guessed that bermuda style shorts are far better than clingy skimpy trunks but don’t tell the other guy.
My brother and I played this a couple of years ago on holiday in the Argave which has a perfect coastline for the game. We were both over 50 at the time and attracted a fair old crowd of watchers every time we played. It’s good fun to watch especially when you rise from the sea wearing what appears to be a huge full nappy. You’ll be showering for ages to get rid of all the grains of sand. In fact you’ll be fishing stuff out well into January but that cold beer/wine doesn’t have taste great afterwards. It’s a bloke thing.
Drop me a line if you get to try it; better still send me some photos.