Do you know the programme Eggheads – it’s strangely compelling and I was reminded today whilst we were clearing some things from the house that my sister H once took part in it. It’s hosted by the charming Dermot Murnaghan who flirted with my sister. It was pretty clear he was keen for her to win. He would be because his regular panel of experts, the Eggheads, are a bunch of insufferable smart-arses.
Actually Judith Keppel, who was the first to win £1m on Who wants to be a Millionaire, is quite pleasant but she is joined by a knobhead called Chris Hughes who ‘s about as smug as you can get. He delights in reminding everyone that he won Mastermind, International Mastermind and Brain of Britain. Yeh but you’ve never seen a naked woman. The rest of them just seem to have won 15 to 1: there’s a disinterested little prig called Kevin Ashman, a younger guy called CJ de Mooi who is flamboyant and queeny and this old dear who is awfully jolly and looks like she’s just popped in from her local WI meeting.
As a group they are a rather sad collection of prickheads but they are good at general knowledge. The challenge from the opposing team is to just beat them but nobody ever seems to. The teams are usually friends or work colleagues and they delight in calling themselves punny names like the 5 Queasy Pieces or Gamecreepers or From Beer to Eternity. I can’t remember the name of my sister’s team but I think it was quite naughty for day-time telly.
A series of questions are asked leading up to the final play-off and any wrong answers result in team members being removed. My sister ended up alone against all the Eggheads and after getting a number of questions correct she was finally undone by a question on Greek mythology, which isn’t her best subject. She did brilliantly and was quite funny too but she couldn’t beat them and how I so wanted her to do it. The look on the face of that fat old git Hughes when they’d secured victory, yet again, was so smackable. Sadly I wasn’t there to deliver it. Have a look at the prat on the left- is it just me or is he a first-rate tw*t?
ps spookily I caught the latest series on the box tonight for the first time since my sister was on (at least a year ago). They won against ‘Split Personality’ who failed to realise that Pukkelpop was an alternative music event hosted in Belgium. Well you would wouldn’t you. The Eggheads had to guess the third letter of the alphabet or something. I’ve also decided that the seemingly disinterested Ashman on the Egghead team is also a first-rate prick. Not only did he correctly identify every multiple choice answer, he gave us a running commentary on why it couldn’t possibly be the non-correct answers thus making clear that he wasn’t merely making informed guesses and clearly had superior intelligence compared with the morons from team Schizophrenia or whatever. Conceited smugness; my favourite attribute in a bloke.
pps I’ve just returned to the UK for a family funeral and caught up with my great sister H. I reminded her about her appearance on Eggheads and told her about this posting. She told me that there was a bit of a story behind the Dermot flirting. Whilst they were being miked up in preparation for the filming my sister’s friend M was watching Dermot across the studio, turned to my sister and whispered quite matter of factly, ‘I’d shag him’. H replied that she would too. To their surprise Dermot looked across to them with a large smile on his face, wiped a licked finger over his eyebrows and advised them that both he and the whole of the production team were sound-wired into their mikes! He thanked them for their interest. They found it hard to look into his eyes for the rest of the day. There’s another story about the sound guy getting wrapped up in my sister’s red pants which she’d probably prefer I didn’t tell. Oops.