t’ayePhone


Eh up, t’Apple have announced today the launch of their latest phone sensation, the reet belting ayePhone for t’lads and lassies of Yorkshire. T’ayePhone comes packed with a host of useful localised features:

– a video library of the funniest bon mots from t’Dingles of Emmerdale, the most appetising arm-up-t’- back-end-of-a-cow moments from It Shouldn’t Happen to a Vet and, for the over 18’s (or rather the over 68’s), t’hottest shots of a stockinged Norah Batty bending provocatively over t’coal scuttle in Last of the Summer Wine;

– an MP3 player serving up ayeTunes’ catalogue of Yorkshire’s marvellous contribution to some of the world’s greatest musical acts eg Saxon, Gareth Gates,Scary Spice, Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band, Def Leppard, Chumbawumba, Whitesnake, Soft Cell (yes it’s true) and those cheeky monkeys the Arctics;

– a photo library facility housing classic shots of t’Dales and other Yorkshire beauty spots like Pontefract power station, the cooling towers by the M1 in Sheffield, Bradford city centre and Elland Rd.

– a podcast unit facilitating the downloadable wit and wisdom of some great Yorkshire personality raconteurs such as Sir Geoffrey Boycott, Dickie Bird, Harvey Smith, Chris Moyles, Sir Jimmy Saville and John ‘Nestle’ Prescott;

– a Google Yorkshire button which highlights the locations of every Harry Ramsden’s fish and chip shop and every pub serving Tetley’s bitter in t’county;

– a weather monitor providing up-to-the-second forecasts – grim, miserable, rainy especially on Ilkley Moor so best put t’at on eh;

– a customised internet connection called e-by-gum-mail

– a 12megapixel camera allowing t’lads to take pictures of them lovely Yorkshire lassies out on t’town on a Saturday night

– a phone, of course, which has some tailored voicemail messages pre-programmed in eg eh up, nah then, sith thee, tha’ knows, by eck.

T’Apple have confirmed that t’ayePhone will be exclusively available in Or toe stores.

Oh I just love everything to do with Yorkshire.

pp

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