Strictly X Factor Celebrity

Well here we are, after what seems like an eternity the finals of the 3 big TV programmes are upon us, and I can’t believe I haven’t written a word on the subjects of Strictly Come Dancing, X factor and I’m  a Celebrity GMOOH, before now. Never in the field of blogging has there been so much to say about such little talent that’s gone unsaid. Ah well, better late than never.

We started out watching Strictly quite a bit – I always enjoy watching the early stages because there’s always a great chance of seeing some awful dance performances. Plus I rather liked to watch Calzaghi’s dance partner. She may have the dance partners from hell but she sure can dance (and fill a sequinned outfit rather nicely). But it was Miss Cassidy’s chunky frame and skimpy outfits that had me really engrossed (actually I have written about this already). What were the programmes’ stylists thinking about?  Of course nobody on the panel dared to mention this – everybody spoke in coded celebrityese about  Natalie’s fantastic personality. The elephant in the room of course was that Natalie was full of heart and enthusiasm but she had the ballroom grace of, well,  a baby elephant. I was a little disappointed all the same to learn that she’d gone but I stopped being interested in the show the night that  the old goat Forsyth was off sick and, mirroring what happened when the old broiler Arlene was replaced,  the Beeb took the opportunity to have the show fronted by  a more  youthful, sexy presenter – the octagenarian Ronnie Corbutt. Simon Cowell must have been quaking in his boots. I ask you. That was also the night that one of the girls was injured and couldn’t perform, another was injured and did perform but danced like a wounded buffalo and yet they still managed to vote off one of the guys. Imagine how badly he must have danced. I think it was that muppet from Corrie. I’ve no interest in who’ll win it; though I’m pretty sure the BBC are squirming a bit at the prospect of the young Whittle fella coming through as he may be the first winner to be found guilty of common assault. That’ll be another Strictly awkward moment for the BBC. Top fun.

As for X Factor well all the crap ones have now gone which is as well I think. I’m not sure I could have watched any more of Jedwood to be honest. I thought Lucy was very  unlucky to lose out to them and the programme lost all the dads at that point too I suspect. Am I alone in thinking that the young lad Lloyd or Floyd just couldn’t sing? How did he survive so long? And be honest could anybody spend more than 5 minutes in conversation with dopey Stacey from Dagenham? Essex girls eh. The young lad (Joe?) has gotta win it hasn’t he? – a shoe-in from day one I reckon.

And so to I’m a Celebrity GMOOH. It’s been a disappointment hasn’t it? We were out in New York (another posting coming up) during the time that Jordan was involved. What was all that about? At bit like the Americans she came in late and stole all the thunder before departing prematurely (taking a huge slice of the audience with her).  As for the others well they’re all a bit uninteresting; George was pleasant but dull, none of the girls have shone, Kim’s just a cartoon character and very annoying whilst the blokes are all pretty pally (come back David van Day). The gay one who’s left could cry for England. I watched him reading out the letters from home and I had to leave the room at one point. It wasn’t emotion that had me overcome ; it was nausea. Dear me that was tough viewing. The only one with any real spirit is the little Italian chef Gino who’s going to win it by a country mile methinks. I’ve actually enjoyed watching Ant & Dec for a change – they’ve  probably been the only amusing thing about the show this time. But the reality in this case is that they could have settled this two weeks ago. It’s been that dull and predictable.

If there are characters or incidents from the shows that have tickled your fancy let me know folks! Gosh I haven’t mentioned Cheryl Cole once – well I have now.

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