Well what a night for winners eh? The biggest had to be ITV over the BBC. By all accounts more 10m people voted for the X Factor finalists compared with 0.5m for the Sports Personality of the Year. The audience figures must have been similarly skewed too I suspect. Why on earth do the BBC put their flagship programmes up against the behemoth that is X Factor? It strikes me as bonkers. Wouldn’t it have been better to schedule SPOTY to next Sunday evening when they would have presumably dominated the weekend viewing with the final of the Beeb’s Strictly Come Dancing capturing the Saturday night audience. But what do I know?
Well shock horror Joe won X Factor and can look forward to the Xmas No 1 and a career in musicals. Olly Murs, which sounds like a small town in Scotland, may well become the new cheeky boy of pop (though I think he might need to be wary of being handled by Louis Walsh). However the highlight for me from last night was escaping from X Factor for a few minutes to watch Ryan Giggs win the SPOTY award. He has been my favourite Utd player over the years but even I have to admit that last night’s award was more in recognition of his career achievements than for anything he did in 2009. Lots of noise this morning that Button should have won it for his F1 title but the reality is that Ross Brawn would have been a more worthy winner for producing a car that would have won 6 races with my Aunty Betty at the wheel. I actually think it might have been more fun to produce the Alternative SPOTY awards in 2009…
My less-than-sporting villains for this year would have been:
Unsporting Personality: the lying cheating bastard title goes to Thierry Henry, narrowly beating the worthless Flavio Briatore and (still one of my heroes) Dean Richards, for continuing to maintain that ‘that’ handball was entirely accidental. Is it any wonder we went to war for a hundred years against the French?
Once was a Titan: no contest it’s the Tiger whose been banging more Barbie dolls than Hugh Hefner in 2009.
Major Embarrassment to the Sponsors: a second trophy on the night for Mr Woods.
Most Embarrassing Sponsorship Association: Pukka Pies’ title sponsorship of the UK Snooker Championships. How classy.
The John Prescott Amateur Fighter of the Year: that bloke who clobbered the old fox Silvio Berlusconi yesterday (I’d be tempted to settle that divorce payment generously and quickly Silvio).
Loose Cannon Administrator: Sepp ‘the mad hatter’ Blatter who managed to antagonise the whole of the Irish diaspora with his dismissiveness.
Won’t be Missed Award: the old spanker Max Moseley.
What the Hell’s Happening at the Club Today? Award: 3rd place Notts County, 2nd place West Ham but the winner by a country mile Portsmouth FC.
Transfer Policy Most Admired by Sir Alex Ferguson: awarded jointly to Real Madrid and Manchester City
The L’Oreal Award for Outstanding Beauty in Sport: the finely-featured Nikolai Valuev. Easy, girls…
PP
Pasta Paulie 
Bad scheduling indeed but great result for Ryan Giggs. I tend to think a one-club man who plays at the highest level, a consummate professional who is talked about on the back pages rather than in OK magazine and who puts a few goals in for United at crucial times should be honoured. Oh yeah, and he pays his taxes in the UK (take note Jensen)…
Ps. Phhhwwoorr…. that Russian boxer’s a bit of alright. Did he model for Easter Island statues or Mount Rushmore by any chance??
Pps. Best transfer deal of the season? – Michael Owen at Utd (fingers crossed)
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Hi Hel,
No complaints from me in Giggs getting the award, though it was a sentimental vote this year methinks. Having said that no one will ever better his achievements with a single club nor score a more dramatic goal than that semi-final winner against Arsenal. Now that was magic.
Not totally convinced about Owen as yet although that hat-trick and result against Wolfsburg was outstanding.
As for Nikolai well I’m sorry to disappoint you but he’s already happily married to the very lucky Mrs Valuev, who told Mrs Mertonski that she was first attracted to his brooding intensity. Only latterly did his success make a difference. Simples.
pp
Didn’t Mrs Paul Daniels, Mrs Donald Trump, Mrs Colin Montgomerie Mrs Boris Johnson et al share the same attraction secrets to bagging their hot men?
Owen is still my man – that priceless goal against City and the hat-trick against Wolfsburg is just a taster of things to come. Fingers crossed for a few more netbusters in the post-christmas run-in. There again, we could always swop him for Torres ha ha…
Hi Hel
Ah Torres…now you’re talking. And let’s face it what’s he ever going to win at Liverpool?
pp
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