Well it will be interesting to see what happens to the various contestants from X Factor. It’s not always the case that the winner goes on to achieve heady success. They may have had a bit of fame but who really cares now about Steve Brookstein (never argue with the man eh!), Shayne Ward and Leon Jackson? Do you remember Alex Parks who won Fame Academy with her own brand of lesbian angst – well what’s happened to her? And it’s sometimes the also-rans who achieve the bigger success; I read that JLS have out-sold Alexandra Burke massively this last year. And that rather odd-looking Rhyddian guy has been all over the press and tv these last few weeks. So nothing is for sure, especially in the wonderful world music/entertainment.
But having analysed the cult of celebrity these last few years I’d like to offer Joe, Olly, Stacey and the rest the top 10 sure-fire ways to achieve that elusive fame:
1 immediately announce that you are gay after all
2 develop a dependency on prescription painkillers
3 announce that you had a troubled childhood and were emotionally abused by a dominant father-figure
4 seek out a cause to promote – anything to do with animals, Africa, rain forests or saving the planet works well (eg buy a Toyota Prius, to park alongside the Hummer, to demonstrate your concern over global warming)
5 become a disciple of a) some obscure sect b) kabbalah or c) tantric sex
6 reconcile your differences with your, formerly, drug-addicted and, still, one-armed mother
7 let it be known that you suffer from a) depression b) bi-polar syndrome or c) obsessive compulsive disorder
8 change your hairstyle frequently or adopt a ridiculous style using lots of gel/moose
9 move to LA and only return to your hometown to slag it off
10 marry a) a WAG b) a Premiership footballer c) a one-legged gold-digger or d) Jude Law
There you have it. Simples.
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