tv viewing

Have you noticed some strange things on tv recently…

– all those bloody annoying adverts for How much must they be spending on media and d’ya think this might result in cheaper insurance? Errr.

– the amount of times Her Majesty’s Government lecture us via ads. Honest to God if they aren’t telling me to reduce my driving speed or watch out for that motorbike, they are telling me to get my tax return sorted by 31 January, eat  more fruit and veg, act on CO2 and, my current favourite,  leave stuff out for burglars to spot. For frig’s sake, bugger off Gordon and do something useful like fix the economy, stop fighting wars you can’t win and save the country  another pile of  taxpayers’ money by not telling us how to live our lives.

– what’s with all this current vogue of light dancing or bright dancing or whatever it’s called. They use it to sell Talk Talk broadband, the Ford Focus and Renault Megane, various coffee ads and on almost all the dance programmes. It’s like something we did with sparklers on bonfire night, aged 7. 50 years on I just don’t get what all the visual fuss is about.

– Dr Hilary dancing on ice. What’s that all about? He used to be a neighbour of our friends and attended all their parties etc. He was really ok company but the best fun was waiting for the tipping point on his (then) wife’s wine intake. Nice and prim before it, she’d make Kim Cattrall look like Florence Nightingale once past it. But Hillers is on even thinner ice with his dancing prowess especially as he looks just a tad too old for it and ever so slightly desperate. Bit sad.

– was any programme formula so well past its sell-by date as Celebrity Big Brother? Is anybody actually watching it? I did in all fairness check out the list of participants early on and have to admit that there were more people I hadn’t heard of than those I was aware of. And those were a miserable bunch of former this and thats. Is the celebrity reality show now doomed because all the ‘interesting’ C-Z listers have already appeared at least once on one of the shows? Let’s hope so.

– the strange way that one of Lancashire’s strongest and broadest accents, the Bolton variety, is suddenly the dominant voice sound on the meeja. If it’s not Peter Kay it’s Vernon Kay or his wife Tess Daly. And if not her then Sarah Cox and if not her then Ronnie Irani or the luckiest man alive Paddy McGuiness. How did he get to be the voice -over king and host of a prime-time Saturday night show (albeit crap)? Unbelievable. I even saw him on Celebrity Family Fortunes and if ever a guy was batting above his average with his missus it’s Paddy. From her responses I’d guess she probably can’t cook toast or tie shoe-laces but she sure can fill a dress. How on earth did Bolton become the Hollywood of the north?  As you may know my roots are northern but even I have to admit that the former mill town isn’t exactly Santa Barbara. Jeez they’ll be going all crazy for t’reet belting south Yorkshire accent next. Tha’ knows it makes sense … corz it sounds like that dopey-sounding lad off t’O2 ads – Sean – Mr Bean’s less-gifted younger brother.


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