nuke the duke


Look, I go away to Italy for a couple of weeks and I come back to discover that, in my absence,  ITV have only gone and topped themselves by creating the ultimate in televisual hell.  Yesterday, quite by chance,  I stumbled across the horror that is the David Dickinson Show. How can I describe it? Think Potnoodles, Hear’Say, Blue Nun, Woolworths and Kiss-Me-Quick hats.  It’s like the TV equivalent of the cross-over car that’s actually a shitbox. It’s a chat show with antique valuations with lots of audience participation and special guests, including a ridiculous game show called Seal the Deal, all hosted by the Duke of Orange on a set that looks like it was made out of packing crates and a few light bulbs. I think it might be on everyday in the graveyard slot; 3pm on ITV 1. It must be  available on the IPlayer. If you can bear it, go and check it out. If you can tell me of a sadder, more hopeless attempt at fusion-format TV I’ll send you some of our very own olive oil grown, pruned, picked and processed with my own fairly gnarled hands.  Nothing you can suggest can out-crap this pile of tat.

pp

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2 thoughts on “nuke the duke

  1. Perhaps not in the same genre but my vote goes to Keith Lemon’s Celebrity Juice. It’s puerile nonsense with a large dollop of schoolboy lavatorial ‘humour’. How he gets paid squillions and gets so much airtime for basically dicking around is a mystery to me. Truly awful.
    And yes, David Dickinson’s show is pretty bad. ITV are partial to these types of bilge shows though – I’m thinking the Alan Titchmarsh show which combines chat with getting his guests to plant a container of begonias. ITV which sometimes produces groundbreaking stuff like Cracker, Prime Suspect, Corrie, World In Action to name but a few are also responsible for producing crap of the highest order…. anything with Vernon Kay in it really…
    Hel

  2. Hi hel

    Think the oil’s still safe.

    If only alan partridge had spoken to the ITV commissioning editors we’d be watching monkey tennis by now. I think even that may have the edge on the duke’s puke show. Today he has excelled himself with special guests the King of the Pricks Richard Madeley, King of the Cockernies Joe Swash and the King of Queens Wayne Sleep. It’s not quite Kenneth Clark’s Civilisation….

    To think that ITV once commissioned programmes like Brideshead Revisited. Ah well that’s progress I guess.

    Keep the comments flowing Hel

    pp

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