Well this is another in an occasional series on the perils of man shaving. Sorry ladies. Some time ago I had to make use of my stand-by razor in this little gadget box of toiletry items I keep in my wash-bag. It’s one of those geeky screw together things which you just wouldn’t buy ordinarily. But not only did it save me from having to go out unshaven, it actually worked beautifully because it had a fixed head which is rare in a razor these days. What’s more the head would take the own-brand dual blades I could get in Sainsbury’s at a fraction of the cost of the rip-off Gillette variety. I know this sounds very sad but I really love that dorky razor.
But yesterday the head only went and broke off after I’d tapped it a little too hard against the sink (a bristle-clearing technique taught me by my father many many years ago). Damn that sink. So yesterday I toddled off to Sainsbury’s and joy of joy, I managed to buy a new blade-compatible, own-brand and very inexpensive razor which even came with two spare blades. Woo hoo!
So this morning I took the razor from its wrapping and wouldn’t you know it, it had a bloody swivel head. Damn it, why can’t they keep things simple? Now this may seem like an irrelevance girls but when you’re shaving as much skin as I do (the image above is frighteningly familiar) it’s critical to be comfortable and confident in your razor, especially when a lot of the shaving is done unsighted and through touch only. Anyway no problem, how hard can it be to use a new razor and brand new pristine-sharp dual blade?
One total face/head skin peel later I feel like I’ve been attacked with a rusty tin-opener. My face is butchered. There are shards of my skin dangling from that new razor larger than the anchovies on a Pizza Express caesar salad. And when I applied a splash of after shave you could hear the screams in Slough.
I told C that I was thinking of getting my old razor re-soldered. It didn’t go down terribly well (is it still war-time and we’re still having to mend and make-good?). I know she’s right but if I can find a razor-repair shop I’m sneaking it out. My face needs old screw-together.