The single article of clothing that I most loved wearing was an old overcoat that I scrounged off my step-grandfather when I was 16. It was a size or two too large but it had this herringbone pattern that I thought was so cool. I wore it with the collar upturned, top button fastened, and the flaps held back by my hands in my jeans pockets. I thought I looked meaner than Clint Eastwood smoking on a stubby cheroot whilst staring down Sergio Leone. With that coat on I imagined I could pull women at least as beautiful as those attracted to the man with no name. I was living away from home at the time and when I returned it swiftly got thrown out by my mum who thought I looked like a tramp. It took me some time to get over it to be honest, after all, I’d lost my coat of many pullers.
So what? you may say. Well I was reminded of it when watching an ad tonight on tv. It’s for Activia pouring yoghourt or something and it features Jamie Theakston. In it he’s wearing a coat which is nothing like the one I wore but it must be a real favourite of his because it looks so ridiculous and no-body with any sense of style would be seen dead wearing it. Maybe after all these years I now know how my mum must have felt at the sight of my wonderful coat. But Jamie’s is truly hideous – way too tight and with a collar that’s been shaved from a manky beaver.
Have a look at this ad and if you’ve seen a more ridiculous outfit please let me know. Oh and talking of ads, have you seen the new Xmas commercial from M&S? It’s very festive and stylish and all that but Peter Kay, you’ve fallen a long way from the comedy podium man. Anyway check out the Theakmeister below or, as I now affectionately know him, the scrote with a coat (and a crap pullover too).