Well it’s the time of year when the perfume companies roll out their Xmas ads. This year’s collection is the usual mix of the good, the bad and seriously anal. Good? Well I might have exaggerated a tad there. I quite like the filmic quality of the Chanel No 5 ad starring Audrey Tatou nearly meeting some young hunk on a sleeper train then missing each other on passing ferries before finally hooking up in a travel terminus. That could be the campest thing I’ve ever written. Anyway there’s a hint of a plotline there. Of course it could just be that I seriously like Audrey Tatou.
Bad examples? How long have you got? They almost all fall into this category. Have you seen the one enquiring whether you got the Armani code ie the knack on how to crack women? Grim. There’s also one I really don’t like for Paco Rabanne featuring hot young things Sam Way and Erin Wasson who grab a mike from each other to look the edgier rock singer. I know it’s not really aimed at me but I wouldn’t buy the stuff on principle seeing this ad. It tries so hard to be cool it makes my teeth hurt.
And so to my horror ad – the one which is most pretentious and overblown. This year it’s the one directed by Guy Ritchie (!) for Dior Homme fragrance featuring that biggest of girl’s blouses, Jude Law, star of my all time least favourite rom-com, The Holiday, or 90 minutes of retching as I call it. In this ad he’s supposed to play some hard man (you’re having a giraffe surely Guy) who’s facing some barney rubble but there’s a beautiful girl to seduce first. The 30 sec ad cut from the 5 minute ‘film’ is a doozie – it contains two magic moments; firstly the look on our Jude’s face as he sets off in his open top sports car. It looks like he’s farting very wet ones. But I enjoyed the biggest smile when he answers the lavverly lady’s question about how she’ll recognise him, ‘oh you’ll know when I’m there’. Ah, it doesn’t get much more perfume-conceited than that.
Instead of showing you the 30 sec ad, I thought I’d show you the feature-length film version. God knows how much Guy charged them for this pile of Eartha but I bet it was a right wedge. Check out the list of credits at the end – just how many faces does it take to make a perfume ad? I liked seeing a credit for the Casting Director – for two actors, both mates of GR? And what about the geezer who played Jude’s driving double ? What was Jude unable to drive those 200 yards unaided? Poor lamb. all in all a right result for GR and the boys. Have a look at the finished product – Jude’s wet fart moment comes after 2 mins 47 secs, Enjoy: