not so dumb royals

I think I told you earlier that I’m helping out at my super son-in-law’s super film company a couple of days a week. One of the nice things about the assignment is that our offices are superbly located virtually overlooking Buckingham Palace, home of course to Phil and Lizzie Windsor and their dysfunctional brood of liggers. You musn’t let my affection for our wonderful Royal family get in the way of a good view. You see whilst I am responsible for dragging the average age in the office up from a youthful 23 to something closer to 50, I was very lucky to have been assigned a desk by the window. Old man’s privilege. And over the last few weeks I’ve witnessed several Changes of the Guard and thousands of ordinary people dolled up in their finest togs waiting patiently in line to join Her Maj at one of her garden parties. But those queues are nothing compared to the ones which have begun this last week to go and visit ‘that dress’.

Yep the Queen’s Galleries have re-opened and the blockbuster feature is Kate Middleton’s wedding dress. Now the wedding of the Cambridges was hugely popular but to be honest I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t pay money to go and see the dress close up. But it’s clear from looking out of my window (and evidenced from the photo above) that lots of people would. In fact they’re estimating that at least 650,000 of HRH’s loyal subjects and some colonial friends will visit the exhibition this summer each paying the paltry sum of £17.50 in entrance fee.

Now it’s possible that I might have pressed a few wrong buttons on the little calculator with my stubby fingers but I reckon that’s a total of well over £11,000,000 in earnings for the royal kitty. Holy Order of the Garter Batman.

At this point I know you’d expect a little rant from me about how this little ‘bonus’ will be positioned against the public costs of sustaining the Royal family. But I’m not because I’ve been worrying about some nitpicky issues to be honest. You see what’s bothering me is just whose dress is this? Obviously it’s Kate’s as I shall continue to address her and call me old-fashioned but wouldn’t her mother and father, the Middleton’s, have paid for it?  So what’s intriguing me is just what is the deal here? Have the Windsors reached an agreement with those dreadful, pushy Middletons to split the  revenue 50/50 do you think? That thought must make the former air hostess and hubbie very happy I imagine. Even if the dress cost a staggering £25,000 let’s say, it’s not a bad return on the investment eh! Or maybe the Royals bought the dress off the Midd’s but for how much I wonder? A tidy profit for sure but surely not as much as £5.5M. Here’s a thought – do you think the families have jointly agreed to give the earnings to the young married couple so that they’re set up for life and, in true Royal style, never have to do an honest day’s work in their lives again (apart from faffing around in a helicopter of course)?

One things for sure I bet not a penny of it will be making its way to Sarah Ferguson to help the old girl out of her teeny financial problems.  Sadly I fear it may mean more tears from Fergie.

The ever-expanding ever more money-spinning Royals;  don’t you just love them…



2 thoughts on “not so dumb royals

  1. I for one don’t believe you stabbed at a calculator for this revenue estimate. I recall the PL brain will generate such large numbers unassisted in a flash. Yours, living-in-the-shadow-of-Windsor-castle-and-thus-get-free-entry-lord-bless-em. Graham

    • Hey Graham

      Great to hear from you mate, hope you’re well. Still ligging around the Royals I see but hey if you’ve managed a free entry gig to one of the imperial palaces then hats off son. You know you’ll end up in the Tower of London don’t you, charged with crimes against the Royal Purse no doubt. I’m sure the people’s revolution will save ya though.

      How did you stumble across the blog though G, this internet thing is just so fascinating don’t you think? You’re welcome anytime so please stay in touch, sometimes I even manage to write things which are mildly amusing (usually when I remember yet another embarrassing moment from my career -ha!- in the telecoms industry). You’ll know a few of them…

      By the way I’m sure you’re exaggerating about that keen brain G; the only thing razor sharp about my cranium these days is the daily wet shave as regular readers will know from my goriest postings.

      Cheers G


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