Nuts about the Brazil World Cup



Well I don’t know about you but I’m loving this World Cup. The football’s sensational and exciting (when England don’t play that is), the Rio scenery is stunning, the girls look, well, beautifully Brazillian and the broadcast coverage is just great fun. My fave moments so far:

10. The opening ceremony which was joyously rubbish. Danny Boyle’s smashed it for every Artistic Director for the next 20 years hasn’t he?  Why was J-Lo there? Who was the Brazillian lass? What was wrong with the sound system? – I couldn’t hear a word of what was being sung. And who is this Pitbull character? He might have a street name that sounds all fierce and gangsta but he looked and danced like a gay Russian waiter. I loved it.

9. Colleen arriving in town yesterday evening with kids Kai and Klay and around 15 kases of Louis Vuitton luggage and immediately ran into a twitter storm for dragging her kids half way round the world for yet another holiday. She responded to the ‘thick’ trolls with a statement that it’s not a holiday; she’s out there to support her beleaguered husband Wayne for as long as England remain in the tournament. Well she should be back skirting around the favelas of Alderley Edge within a week or so then.

8. Phil Neville’s ‘expert’ analysis. His commentary is so flat and uninteresting he could make Southport sands seem positively Alpine. Listening to his droney voice is almost as amusing as his hair style – Bury chav chanelling Tintin. I’ve seen more sophisticated grooming on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

6. The BBC idents featuring the little subbuteo figures and those amazing street caricature graphics of the world’s leading payers. Brilliant.

7. Watching fat Phil Scolari having apoplexy on the touchline. Priceless. Loved it when Mexico drew with Brazil tonight – I’ve never rated their full backs Alves and Marcello and tonight they did me proud. Two glasses of caipirinha could defend better then these two munchkins.

5. Netherlands v Spain. Alright that knobhead Robben scored a cracker but RVP’s header was just a belter. Can we now say good bye to all that spunking over tedious tika taka Spanish football please?

4. Thierry Henry’s a sulky fuck but he looks effortlessly cool. Such chic dress sense, he makes Robbie Savage and Alan Shearer look like Steptoe and son in comparison.

3. Pirlo; any chance you could retire and stop torturing us, and Fellaini; any chance you could stop torturing us and play like that for Man U?

2. The Mexican goalie Ochoa, who gave the best stopper performance tonight since the inimitable Gordon Banks in 1970. Even Wenger might be tempted to splash out on him.

1. Talksport Radio’s official WC song; wrong on so many levels but I can’t get the damn chorus out of my head. Watch this and it’ll be in yours too….



5 thoughts on “Nuts about the Brazil World Cup

  1. It HAS been a fantastic World Cup so far, lots of goals, surprises, tons of comebacks and heroic performances.
    My faves:
    USA’s 2nd vs Ghana – they looked out on their feet when Ghana equalized and looked like they’d go on to win – gutsy
    Costa Rica showing Uruguay how to play
    Pepe getting red-carded – a monstrously over-rated nasty wind-up merchant (If Ramos gets one too I will be ticked)
    The whole Mexican team but particularly Ochoa yesterday
    The Scotsman in goal for Russia last night
    Australia in general and of course Timmy Cahill’s goal

    You have Phil Neville we have Michael Ballack – same nonsense, different accent

    So how you gonna feel when Robben (aged 30) pulls on that MUFC red shirt when LVG buys him and Snejder (Aged 30)?

    • Hi S

      Great points mate. Do you remember us being out with you guys for the SA WC? We were sharing the ups and downs of that USA match on FB of course and it was thrilling. More great stuff tonight. Cahill’s goal was just sensational. I used to score goals at 5 a-side just like that. And of course it’s bloody adios to Espana and to tika taka, ole! Y viva el long ball.

      I was going to write about LVG bringing that tosspot Robben with him to Old Trafford. He scores some magical goals but he is just so charmless. I couldn’t bear to see him pulling on a red shirt and couldn’t bear to write some words in case I tempted fate. Sneijder I’ve always liked but he’s too old schurely Schay? The one rumour I do wish to come true is that he convinces Chile’s A Sanchez to OT – now he does look like a bloody player. And team mate Vidal? Now then Jimmy could you fix it for me please?

      Now come on England tomorrow….I bet we win and lose narrowly against Costa Rica just to draw out some further hurt to add to the 48 years we’re already suffering.

      Thanks for checking in S


      • Not sure ticky tacky is dead but there’s wholesale changes needed in personnel. Be interesting to see if VDB survives.
        Alexis Sanchez, hahaha in your (Champions League days dreams my friend).
        Manzukic knows where the goal is for sure.
        Cameroon, oh dear, 8 red cards in 6 World Cups, another “Song sung red “anyone? (former Gooner so who cares really).
        Yes England, your England, good luck today if only to send the biter home early. The pace of Sturridge, Sterling and Roo should cause the ageing Uruguay back line a tough afternoon but 90 degrees and 90% humidity in the mid afternoon sun will be tough on all .
        Oh and yes 4 years too late for Snejder, Lovely player but doesn’t have the legs for the Prem.

    • What can I say? We were hopeless mate. Does nobody bite the legs anymore – Pearce or Hunter would have given Suarez a welcome-to-the-English-way-of-playing tackle early on that would have made him think twice about crossing the half way line again. Sadly we play like girls now.

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