Prisoner cell block CH

Well the handcuffs are out of the box and it can’t be long before they are slipped around the fat chubby wrists of Sepp Blatter. The FBI are already out for him and his corrupt trough-snuffling cronies but it was his native Swiss authorities who turned up at his office on Friday to seize evidence from his plush Zurich office and announced later that he was being investigated for ‘criminal mismanagement’ and ‘misappropriation’ of funds. At bloody last.

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Comebacks

mrpotatohead

 

 

 

 

 

Oh joy of joys. Did you hear that that great homophobe/misogynist Mr Potato Head is making a comeback on radio? I know seems unlikely after t’Yerkshire gimp was kicked out of Radio 1 three years ago for calling a spade a gay shovel and failing to cut it as a stage actor (titter) or tv sleb. But now Xfm Radio has been re-launched as Blerks’ RadioX and 42 year old PH (or to give him his native American name, Dresses Like a Farmer, Eats Like a Pig) has been recruited to do his dj thang once again playing music and discussing topics with no appeal whatsoever to the ladeez. Like Vindaloo and Leeds Utd’s most admirable managers.  Oh and they’ve recruited Chris Moyles too.

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Timing

I’ve had a lovely couple of days with my fab grandsons but other than that it’s been a trying week to be honest. I’ll spare you the details. But last night after watching some of the MoTD stuff and dozing a bit I headed off to bed. I took one look at the digital clock on the cooker before heading to the bedroom and it read 23.23. Now don’t you think that’s the most unnotable time register of all time? Surely something must have happened at this time in history……

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unbelievable tekkers

So it’s not earth-shattering news to announce that the very top footballers earn fortunes these days. If it takes me say an hour to write this posting (for fun of course), in the same time Wayne Rooney will have earned about £1800 from Man Utd. That’s the rate at which a salary of £300,000 per week gets drawn down. And that’s just the club money. Add to this his endorsements, sponsorship deals, image rights earnings, online gaming fees, social media earnings and investments and the figures are multiplied several times. So he’s probably earning closer to £10,000 every 60 minutes of the day that passes.

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Womensville

Well I figured it would only be fair to tell you about Bitches-on-the-Sofa, the sister village to Buttcrack Fullerfurze, which is home to all the annoying women I see in public life. It’s a strange little place, attractive in parts but you sense there’s been lots of cosmetic work done in a vain attempt to keep all the front facades looking fresh. It’s not a large place with just 3 main roads – Catty Lane, Dopey Drive and Needy Street.

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People who hail from Buttcrack Fullerfurze

It’s an odd title for a posting I grant you but I promise you it’s a real place. In my imagination. A place where annoying tv people with big egos, scant GCSE’s, weird personalities, a misguided sense of their sexual appeal (and occasionally hazy sexuality) and a strange style sense all live. Continue reading

Patrick, old friend

Now take a look at this…
IMG_0290

No not my two Baftas (have I mentioned these before?) but the card from my daughter S on behalf of our lovely grandson E thanking C and I for looking after him over the last 15 months. So nice. S had chosen the card from the Tate collection as she knew I’d like that because of my past connections with the institution.  And I do. Love it. It’s so like our daughters to want to say thankyou even though it’s soooo not necessary.

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