TV presenters


I know you probably think that commenting critically on TV presenters is a bit of a hobby horse of mine but following Chris Evans’ resignation I got to thinking about other tv front men/women who should do the decent thing and head off back to hospital radio or wherever they came from.

First up that slice of Welsh seaweed cake, Steve Jones, who can currently be seen anchoring C4’s F1 Grand Prix coverage. It’s all very macho compared with the old BBC coverage where Suzi Perrry acted as lead presenter.  Now I’m not being anti-female here but I never really liked la Perry in the anchor role. She was knowledgable enough about the sport and brought a nice counter-balancing woman’s persective, but, she always gave off a slightly dishevelled air like she’d just had a fumble behind the pit lane with one of the Ferrari mechanics. And I found it distracting. Jones is even more annoying; he is nowhere near as informed and he has that smug little smile and knowing look – like he wants you to believe he’s probably just had sex with all the grid lane promo girls. Yeh right.

He’s so self-absorbed. Half of his patter is about himself when I’m only interested in the latest news about the cars, teams, drivers etc. I suppose that’s what you get by employing someone who previously presented C4’s self-regarding yoof entertainment programme T4. He must look in the mirror every morning and say to himself God you’re a handsome beast. But this skinny-jeaned I’m too sexy for my shirt routine was completely undermined when I saw him in an advert today for a Sony Xperia phone playing with his little pet pug. Stevie and his lickle Dexter. Here’s the cute little fellah featured in a recent tweet from Steve…

Celebrity Twitter

Shiver. I always find big men who own little doggies about as macho as a hint of mint. As my dear old mum would have said, he’s nothing more than a big girl’s blouse. Grand Prix presenter? Do me a favour. He couldn’t hold a candle to the late great James Hunt who knew his sport intimately, was always engaging to listen to and almost certainly did have most of the promo girls for breakfast.

Back to the dear old Beeb now and another sporting presenter who is paid a bomb to talk about subjects in which he has absolutely no background or experience. It’s Mike Bushell. The BBC website says…

‘Sports presenter Mike is unique. As well as presenting the main sports bulletins of the day he has profiled and personally sampled nearly 400 different sports and activities during his Saturday morning slot on Breakfast; apparently a world record!’

Yep Mike’s unique alright because he is the only bloke I know who is absolutely completely fucking useless at any and all of those sports he participates in. My aunty Betty had more sporting prowess. He did apparently do cross-country running at school (didn’t we all?) and also represented the county of Hertfordshire at Chess. Oh well that’s a fine CV for a sports presenter. He has zero professional sporting exerience, bringing no insight nor technical appreciation to his subject. But some of the greatest sports commentators and observers like John Arlott, Dan Maskell, Ted Lowe etc brought something else – beautiful eloquence, warmth and humanity to their broadcasting roles.  I can assure you that Mike Bushell is not one of those presenters. He’s a tiny little bloke with a diffident nature whose summaries come across as slightly anxious and verging on the unintentionally embarrassing. Take a look at this piece he did on showjumping. It’s a bit long but it doesn’t disappoint in showcasing his sporting uselessness…

See what I mean? Hopeless. And speaking of dipsticks, here he is with his IQ buddies…

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