Words almost fail me but not quite. This is the cover for the new debut album from TV presenter-cum-builder Nick Knowles released just in time for Xmas. Sigh. You’d think to yourself who the f88k’s going to buy that pile of self-indulgent crap? Well his record company thinks 100,000s will. Eh?
You see this is all down to the Alexander Armstrong effect. He’s the affable chap who presents the tv show Pointless with the very tall Richard Osman (or big Dick as he’s known in this parish). It seems that Alexander isn’t content to be the host of a very successful tv gameshow, he’s also one of the UK’s leading funny men and radio panellist as well as an accomplished actor. No that’s not enough creative achievement. So two Xmas’s ago, the smoothly-voiced Trinity College educated and former Footlights writer, released a debut solo vocal album, A Year of Songs, which only went and topped the Classical charts. Confidence stiffened he released a second album which did rather well too last Xmas.
Other comedians and b-list tv slebs noted this success as did other record labels and a slew of recordings have followed in AA’s trail. First up Bradley frigging Walsh ffs whose album Chasing Dreams sold 100,000 copies in 4 weeks. He’s just released his second album (in time for Xmas of course) entitled When You’re Smiling on which he murders sorry covers songs such as Come Fly With Me, Luck be a Lady and The Good Life. Obviously because Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett couldn’t do them justice.
It’s enough to make your ears bleed and they probably will when you see who’s waded in with solo albums this Xmas. How’s about that well-known crooner Anton du Beke? Eh? Not to your taste (nor mine), then how about impressionist Alistair McGowan? No, then what about funny man Jason Manford or soap star Shane Ritchie?…sigh. No doubt with a selection of cockerney classics.
What’s next year’s thing? Albums from minor Royals, disgraced politicians, the Brexit negotiating team? My money’s on Sam Allardyce to release an album from The Great American Songbook. No doubt entitled I Left My Heart in…Dudley. You heard it here first.