Well it’s been a difficult couple of days. Yesterday we said goodbye to our dear friend S who lost her long and unbelievably brave battle with cancer. We couldn’t attend the funeral because of the number restrictions but watched it via a video link which was actually OK. This was our daughter E’s best friend’s mum and it was hard to watch C and her sisters and our good friend J struggle with their grief but the distance allowed them a degree of privacy from dozens of upset attendees which I’m sure they (and we) found helpful. It’s just the hardest thing to be witness to grown-ups getting terribly upset isn’t it? But we were grateful to witness the final good bye if only virtually.

Yesterday was also the day that one of our oldest and dearest pals, and Carol’s closest friend, S was interred finally. We couldn’t be there again as the numbers were restricted to believe it or not just 6 people including officials.  Not easy when there are 2 daughters, 5 grandchildren, one husband, 2 sons-in-law and sisters, other family members and dozens of friends wishing to attend. Anyway we heard today from husband and great mate L that everything went beautifully, albeit quietly, and we’ll be able to visit to pay our respects soon.

Then today we heard that our dear sister-in-law L, is close to the end too. We’re at that age aren’t we when great friends and loved family members start to go. Sigh.  Within short order we’ll have lost 3 lovely, vibrant and utterly decent women from our lives leaving 3 terribly sad blokes behind. Makes you grateful for what you have doesn’t it?

Decency; it’s a great value in a person. It says they act with respect and through their actions, words and deeds attract  respect back. It’s a quiet, gentle and highly underrated attribute in this day and age I think but one which I value enormously. It means you can completely trust these people. They act with integrity and honesty and, in the closest relationships, with deep affection. I wouldn’t say I know hundreds of people who demonstrate these attributes.

And today I crossed another person off the likely list.  We’ve been renovating our daughter R’s apartment in London during the lockdown whilst she stayed with us. Hard work but well worth it and she loves the finished result thankfully. But we liberated dozens of dvd’s, cd’s and picture frames etc which we’ve been selling off for her online. Someone who lives in Steeple Aston near Banbury/Bicester wanted the picture frames but when she realised we had moved to Stratford, said perhaps not. I said that, if she was prepared to be patient, I’d be happy to drop them in on our way, probably to visiting our daughter E in Buckingham. V happy she said. Well she would be wouldn’t she; I’m doing her a huge favour. Hey it’s what you do right.

We’re in a walkabout kind of exercise mode at the moment so today, being C’s day off work, we fancied a run out to Broadway in the Cotswolds for a stroll, so I dropped her a text message this morning saying we could drop off the frames if that suited. About 2pm I suggested. ‘Perfect’ she said. Great see you then I texted. So it was a bit out of our way but we thought at least someone could be making use of Becksy’s many redundant picture frames. We got there at 1.35pm albeit a little early. Nobody was in. I left her a message around 1.50pm to say we were at her home and happy to hang on for her. No reply. It got to 2.05pm and still no sign of her so I sent another message saying could she let me know if she’d be returning soon. Nothing.

I was going to drop them off with a neighbour but C just said they aren’t decent people let’s just go. And you know what she was right. I’ve heard nothing from her since and it’s gone 9pm at night. And it became a 2 hour return journey – the weather ended up so crap we couldn’t be bothered visiting Broadway.

Umm. You think you are doing a favour to somebody and they let you down without explanation or apology. What’s the opposite of decency? Gracelessness, ignorance, discourtesy?  How about shitty shiftlessness? I just don’t know why somebody can’t say I’ve changed my mind sorry, before dragging me 45 miles out of my way. Then disappearing from their home for an hour or so. Really? It upset me but then I thought about the 3 blokes and I thought oh shit it’s nothing compared to their hurt. Live and learn eh and if you hear from a Jess from Steeple Aston wanting to buy your stuff, you’d be wise to tell her no thanks, we only deal with decent people.



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About Paul

Having decided on a change of life by moving home from the UK to Italy, this is the story and thoughts of a man on a personal journey from the Blackpool Tower to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, in search of la dolce vita. After several olive harvests he's now back in London but en route he shares his very personal perspectives on life.

4 thoughts on “Decency

  1. Know how you feel Paul about the no-show. Have been selling, or trying to, sell, a few things on social media site. Cannot believe the audacity of people wanting it for half-price and asking if it comes from a clean house etc. I’d rather just give stuff away to needy or charity than put up with their behaviour. These days shit just breeds shit in so many people. Sorry to be so grumpy!

    • Yep bloody ignorant people; drives me nuts Al. As you say if the charity shops were open I’d rather just give them the stuff for free. What you grumpy? Never mate

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