Well I might have drawn a blank with my fruitless trip to Ikea (justifiably I’ve come to appreciate) but I’m proud to tell you that I’ve extracted a fulsome apology and handsome recompense from another mighty brand who’d fail to deliver me an adequate product/service. Oh yes.

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Call me Mr Grumpier then ever

I think this self-isolation is getting to me. I seem to be in a permanent state of pissedoffnia. Today’s rant is about retailing. I know it’s difficult at the moment and we all have to be patient and all that but sometimes I bloody despair at how some things are being handled.

First up queuing; it’s a given now at any supermarket and I think we all accept it pretty much uncomplainingly. Here’s a couple of shots at the length of the queue at Waitrose earlier today:

I must have been about 40th in line when I joined the rear of the queue but it’s a lovely sunny day so no biggie, right. Now yesterday I walked down to Tesco’s and the queue there was a little shorter. As I approached the very cheery Tesco lady on the door she repeated to me what I’d heard her telling everybody before me; that if I had a Tesco loyalty card (which I did) I could register it at the scanner bank, then take a scanner around the store with me, scanning purchases as I popped them in my basket, which would enable me to go straight to the self-serve payment machines without having to wait for a free check out lady. So I wouldn’t have to queue twice. Fair enough I thought, so that’s what I did.

I completed the shopping and went straight to the self check out point (which I normally do anyway) where another lady asked me if it was my first time with the scanner. Yes I said. Ok point your scanner at the barcode on the screen. Now stand back because I have to double check that you’ve correctly scanned everything. Eh? What was the point in me doing it and registering and faffing about. It would have been easier for me just to get my 5 items and scan them at the pay-out machine as usual. Yes but there might have been a long queue for the machines she said. But there wasn’t and you’re only letting 10 people or so in at a time. Yes but now we have you registered too. I’m already registered with the loyalty card and with delivery schedules service. How many times do you need my data for goodness sake? But it will be so much easier for you next time she implored. This is all for your benefit. Really? She looked at me like I was Brackley’s version of Victor Meldrew. Sigh. I left without saying a big thank you to Miss Joyful at the door.

When I got back I felt a little curmudgeonly to be honest – the staff especially are really doing a great job and I shouldn’t carp at a young lady being enthusiastic, even if the new process really didn’t seem that useful. So in a slightly lighter mood I looked up the website for United Biscuits. A few days ago Carol bought a packet of a new range of biscuits from McVitie’s – the chocolate digestive Thins. We do like a biscuit with our midday cuppa and these seemed to offer all the great taste of the ultimate digestive just in a slightly healthier format. We’d opened the packet and each of us tried one to find the taste was completely stale. Wwurgh. They really were inedible. We checked the use-by date and it was 5/11/2020 and the packaging was all intact when we opened it. Now ordinarily I’d take the packet back to the store but I didn’t have a receipt. And queuing up for another 30 minutes just to make a complaint didn’t seem like an attractive idea. So looking at the packaging it said that in the case of any issues with the product contact United Biscuits website and follow the complaints procedure. So that’s what I did.

The site advised me to send details of the complaint to a particular email address together with full details of my address, the use-by data, where we’d purchased it and when which I duly did. I even took a photo of the sell-by data and attached it to my message. Here’s the image I attached:

I said that we were unhappy with their product obviously and asked for their thoughts. I’ve reached the point in life where I hold companies to account if they get something wrong. It might be a pain to complain but why should we let people off the hook – this is a foodstuff after all.

I got an automated response back straight away saying:

Dear Consumer. Thank you for contacting us via email.  I would like to reassure you that our Consumer Services Department is operating as usual and we will continue to provide the level of service that we always aim for, however, during the current situation with (COVID-19) and the precautions in place it may take us a little while longer to answer your query.    

We thank you for your continued support and for bearing with us during this difficult climate. 

The personal details that you have submitted will automatically be logged with your contact details. Please let us know if you do not wish these details to be retained. We also invite feedback on our service. Please let us know if you do not want to be contacted for this purpose. Your details will not be used for marketing purposes or shared with any 3rd party. Our office hours are Mon – Fri 9-5. Please note that we do not work during Bank Holidays. For any urgent out of hour enquiries please call 01530 253209 and we will try our very best to get someone to get in touch with you sooner. You can find out more about how we use personal data at

I figured nobody would get back particularly soon but blimey fairly quickly I got a response from UB’s Consumer Services Co-ordinator M asking me to give her details of my address, the sell-by data, where we purchased the biscuits and when, so that she could deal with the issue thoroughly. Eh? I sent her a message back asking if she’d actually read my earlier message as I’d already sent her all those details. But just for the record I answered every point again and sent another photo image through. And basically just said I’m a bit hacked off with her response – either send me a voucher to cover the cost of my purchase or don’t bother me anymore.

I then got another automated response just like the one above. Sigh. Then another message from M saying she couldn’t read the data from my photo. Really? You are opening the attachment? I asked in response and with some annoyance gave her the details in type format. I got another automated message just like the one above. Sigh.

It’s just too hard sometimes to follow your principles.

Finally a tale from the delivery process. Carol managed to get a delivery slot from Waitrose a little while back which duly arrived 3 weeks ago. Several of the items she’d ordered hadn’t been in stock and they’d sent through some replacements. Carol didn’t want these and the delivery lady said no problem, I’ll get your account re-credited as soon as I get back. Well we had an email from Waitrose confirming the delivery but no sign of the re-payment. So Carol sent an email explaining that we’d like the money back. She got an automatic response saying her issue will be processed as soon as possible, please bear with us during the current pandemic. Umm.

No news after a week so Carol sent another email and got the auto response again, sigh. Again the issue is do you queue up for 30 minutes and try and have a conversation with an advisor in the local store from a distance of 2m or plough on electronically. Carol sent a third message a week ago. Today we had confirmation that our account had at last been re-credited.

OK it’s a strange time but 3 weeks to pay us back? Umm. I just sense the retailers are doing a great job but playing a bit fast and loose with us at the moment. I bet your average weekly spend has gone up as there are no in-store promotions are there? (they don’t need to discount as whole shelves get cleared out almost immediately). We’ve had to visit 5 places over the last few days just to try and get a bag of flour, which we did in Lidl this afternoon. And I haven’t seen pasta for weeks. I’m sure you can relate more examples.

I like the whole public-spiritedness but it is starting to get a bit challenging don’t you think? Or maybe I’m just a grumpy old git. This isn’t a vote…





A different rant


Well Hancock didn’t do the Gov briefing today so you’re all spared another posting about his pronouncements. Hurrah! However don’t worry, my infuriated levels remained very high today with a different subject. This time it wasn’t a disingenuous  politician but my next favourite bete noire, the car insurance company. Grrr…..

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Hancock – part III

I don’t want this blogsite to sound like I have a hate complex about Matt Hancock the Health Secretary but he’s doing his damnedest to make me react against his policies. This time he’s threatened an exercise ban if people continue to flout his directions.  Whoa Mr H, can we just take a time out here to reflect on this pronouncement.

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Why me Burt?

When the kids were younger we used to spend a couple of weeks of their summer holidays with Eurocamp in France. It was rustic and a bit basic but over 3-4 years we had some of our very best family breaks at sites in and around the Dordogne and not one drop of rain in all our trips! And we met some great friends with whom we’re still in touch 30 years later. There was a Dutch family who we befriended with 5 beautiful daughters and mum and dad Dini & Burt. They were great fun and we and another family of all girls headed up by lovely Dennis and Julie were as pally as can be. Burt, Dennis and I used to keep an eye on the kids in and around the pool area whilst playing boules and drinking the odd beer or trois. And whenever Dennis or I had an unlucky bounce of the ball on the gravelly strip we’d turn to Burt and ask ‘Why me Burt?’. It became something of a catchphrase amongst us and I’ve often thought it’s a line that could easily be chiselled onto my gravestone, given the drama that always seems to dog my simple existence.

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Wait for it….

So we are so looking forward to heading out to NYC to see our lovely daughter & son-in-law and beautiful young grandsons. We’ve both been busy as hell these last few weeks in preparation but these last few days have been quite a challenge on the patience front. And it’s also been quite a while since I’ve regaled you with one of those it-can-only-happen-to-me stories about my creaking body. Hey ho here we go again…  Continue reading


It’s been a few weeks since I last posted – we’ve had a recent brilliantly relaxing holiday in the Vendee region of France with all my beautiful daughters, fine sons-in-law and, of course our fab grandsons (minus footballer S who was in the middle of his pre-season training programme, sadly). Apart from that I’ve been really, really busy on writing stuff. Tonight I’ve got a bit of a break on a big piece of web-building stuff whilst I await a go-ahead or otherwise. So time to do some blogging again. And the theme is underpants. Yes ladies I’m going to share some manly insight with you about how a real brutal hunk of a man chooses his briefs. Steady girls.

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