Louis, who he?

I heard this morning that Jose Mourinho has issued a come and get me statement to the FA saying he’d welcome the chance to be the next England manager. I’m not sure I believe it to be honest, surely he’s got at least one more big club job to try first. And don’t forget I forecast his departure from Chelsea and appointment at Real back in the summer (albeit it very tongue in cheek!). But if he’s serious that’s interesting. What’s not so interesting but is amusing was Louis van Gaal’s announcement yesterday that he has a release clause in his contract with AZ Alkmaar (they’re big) allowing him to go for major international jobs. Well thank you very much Louis. I know you’ve had a crack at Barcelona and Ajax before now but don’t you think your stocks fallen a little since then? From AZ to FA is surely a leap of faith even Brainiac Barwick wouldn’t attempt. Isn’t it….?

only croatia again

Don’t know if you’ve heard the World Cup qualifying draw as yet but England have only gone and drawn Croatia again as the no 1 seed in our group, alongside Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan and the mighty Andorra. As it’s a 6 team group we even get a chance to qualify as one of the best runners-up. That’s alright. With a proper manager in control, we should reverse the results against Croatia and qualify relatively easily this time. He says…

the future’s not so bright, unless…..

So the mighty Mc Quiff has gone. Gawd knows how much it really cost the FA to pay him off and tactical/media assistant (ha!) Terry Vegetables and head of positive thinking Brian ‘stephen hawkins’ Beswick and head goal-keeping coach (that’s a f**king laugh) Ray Clemence. I suggested £5m flippantly in a pique last night but I bet it’s not far awry. Today at the press conference SM suggested that all the critical/key questions would be answered not now but in the fullness of time. In FAspeak this means that ‘I’m prevented from saying anything negative under the terms of my multi-million pound pay-out but but once the silence-period has been observed, I’ll reveal all in my revelationary multi-million pound biography’. So the fu**wit walks away with let’s say £4-6M of opportunity before he works again.

football eh…bloody (frigging) hell

As Sir Alex Ferguson once said. Except that he was saying it after Man U had just won the Champions league Trophy after a topsy turvy match. Tonight we witnessed a nightmare result for England losing 2-3 to Croatia and thus failing to qualify for the Euro 2008 tournament. All we had to do was draw for gawd’s sake and having fought back from 2-0 down we still managed to snatch defeat from a successful position. What a disastrous qualifying competition this has been. England have been largely dreadful throughout as they’ve been led by the £10m man with no managerial skill whatsoever, sad McClaren, surely the worst England manager of all time.

owen & heskey eh

Great performance last night I thought from England and a superb win for Scotland in France. Sacre bleu that’s two demoralising losses for les bleus in a week. Now the French know what it’s like to be an England supporter. Not that I’m crowing because as we all know it could all go horribly wrong for both the England footie and rugby sides yet. Sad reverses for the lads in green and didn’t Bellamy’s Wales do brilliantly (I still think he’s a prick) but it’s all a bit late I guess.

england play well shock

I was at friends yesterday watching England’s disappointing opening match in the rugby WC against the USA and so missed the vitally important Group qualifier football match between England and Israel which the heads of programming at ITV and BBC had scheduled at precisely the same time. What is the point of that? I cannot be the only person in the world interested in both events. Pricks.

england calls up dad’s army

Well I’ve heard it all now. Following the embarrassing recalls of those old stalwarts Beckham, Campbell and James, McClaren’s really gone and done it for me now by recalling probably the least ineffective forward from recent times, Emile Heskey, who last played in the Euro Champs in 2004. So there we are a new beginning and direction from the Sven era and he’s resorting to picking not just the same team that Sven selected but now he’s going back to the guys Sven rejected years ago because they weren’t good enough at international level. As I said previously, Tom Finney’s a fabulous ex-international who’s currently got a window in his diary – come on Steve give the lad a shout. He used to be a bloody demon on that right wing and he could probably sort out that new bathroom too Steve through his plumbing business.

frigging england rubbish

Well don’t really want to say I said so but that was frigging rubbish tonight. Issues:

– Micah Richards surely the best young defender in the country. Exposed and played DB off the field

– Paul Robinson surely not totally at fault for the goal. He got caught out by a wicked under-the-bar-cross that was never meant. What did James do when he came on?

– DB rubbish I thought in terms of effort. He’s crocked for christs’s sake.

– Why didn’t SRPhillips play on the right? How often does he play on the left? For f*cks sake McClaren.

– Why didn’t Gareth Barry replace Joe Cole directly on the left instead of into midfield?

– Owen rubbish and Smith too. What on earth is he (Smith) doing at NU?

– Dyer rubbish

– Crouch never touched the ball

That apart I thought McClaren had a great game. NOT!!!! There were no positives apart from Richards. Hopeless waste of time the whole thing. Please Brainiac B give somebody with a strategic sense of purpose a chance. I’ll happily do it for £50k and I promise I’ll not make these stupid frigging selections. Honest to god it’s just crap. Doesn’t anybody at the FA see it like we all do? I’m just so happy that NI got a result tonight. In fact, I’m pleased for Wales, Scotland and Ireland tonight who also had great results. What’s the chances Wembley will be full next match? Not good.

pp