Well normal service has been resumed dear readers. I was chatting to my brother about the fact that we’d both had cause to watch rather a lot of daytime tv recently (I’m still doing!) and he suggested it would make a good topic for a posting. I considered doing a critical look at the grim state of one or two of the daytime programmes but decided against it on the grounds that there’s just too much choice. So instead I’ve decided to do something completely different – a pp phrase book of some new words coined by the popularity of afternoon telly and a few of its more well-known presenters. Please feel free to add to the list.
Look, I go away to Italy for a couple of weeks and I come back to discover that, in my absence, ITV have only gone and topped themselves by creating the ultimate in televisual hell. Yesterday, quite by chance, I stumbled across the horror that is the David Dickinson Show. How can I describe it? Think Potnoodles, Hear’Say, Blue Nun, Woolworths and Kiss-Me-Quick hats. It’s like the TV equivalent of the cross-over car that’s actually a shitbox. It’s a chat show with antique valuations with lots of audience participation and special guests, including a ridiculous game show called Seal the Deal, all hosted by the Duke of Orange on a set that looks like it was made out of packing crates and a few light bulbs. I think it might be on everyday in the graveyard slot; 3pm on ITV 1. It must be available on the IPlayer. If you can bear it, go and check it out. If you can tell me of a sadder, more hopeless attempt at fusion-format TV I’ll send you some of our very own olive oil grown, pruned, picked and processed with my own fairly gnarled hands. Nothing you can suggest can out-crap this pile of tat.