roy of the ravers

I read this morning that the Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is bigging up the talents of his striker (!) Bobby Zamora after he scored his 6th goal of the season to beat the less-than-mighty Sunderland 1-0 yesterday. Zamora’s goal was a well-placed clean header which must have startled his manager because the striker has perfected the art of  hitting shots off his knees, shins and backside. Indeed so wayward is his sense of the exact location of the opposition goal that home fans from Brighton, Spurs,West Ham and Fulham have become used to singing the Zamora tribute chant, ‘When you’re sat in row Z and the ball hits your head – that’s Zamora’ to the tune of ‘Amore’. Clearly still dazed at the post-match press conference, Hodgson stunned a room of football hacks by claiming that his centre-forward might well deserve a call-up to the England team’s World Cup squad as a viable alternative to the less-technically gifted (!!) first-choice striker Emile Heskey. By all accounts Hodgson has now been booked to appear at the Comedy Store for an extended run, whilst the Italian-born England head coach Fabio Capello was later quoted as saying that ‘Itsa bin a bellisimo week; primo Eengland were seeded for da World Cup draw and were tutta fortunata to be placed in a Grouppa which gives us  a realistico chance of, how you say, progressing to the later stages of the tournamento. Then a fellow Italian won Sono uno Celebritti – bravo Gino! And now I haf a seen mio primo pantomima horse double act – signori Hodgson and Zamora. Life in Eengland is tutta jolly!