You could have fooled me. Oh dear, we tuned into the third semi-final (surely there can only be two?) of Britain’s Got Talent last night.  I’m even more convinced that they need to add a rider to the title like ‘If Only We Can Find It’ or ‘But Not Much Of It’ or most accurately ‘But Virtually All Of It’s Already Been Uncovered And Now We’re Scraping The Bottom Of the Variety Act Barrel’. The couple of acts who qualified last night for the Final were OK I guess – a singing accountant who still lives with his mum and dad and an impressionist who specialises in mimicking bald men ie Phil Mitchell, Harry Hill and er…nobody else. That was the good stuff.

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The Who? Factor

Well we now know the last 3 finalists on the X Factor as Danyl became the last of the also-rans to leave the show last night. I wasn’t unhappy to see him go because a) only a pretentious prat would put up with spelling his name like that, b) he reminds me of that other dufus Darius who appeared on one of these reality talent shows and who was equally obsessed with his own talent c) I can’t stand it when a simple lyric like the word ‘love’ is stretched out to over 6 undulating notes and Danyl was a serial offender of that horrible Mariah Carey style of warbling. But I digress. This posting’s not about him nor about the X Factor. Instead I came across the winners of another tv reality talent show this morning; they are Beardsmith (honestly) who won GMTV’s recent competition to find Britain’s No 1 (musical) Family. Never heard of it/them? Well it’s a contest only open to family members and I have to tell you that the talent on display makes the X Factor auditionees seem like The 3 Tenors. I was thinking what a waste of valuable TV time but then again GMTV give Lorraine Kelly an hour’s airtime each morning so…. Continue reading

heather mills mccartney, part 2

I’m hoping this will be the last time I feel the need to write about Heather Mills McCartney. I’ve read a number of reviews on her ranting performances yesterday. Most have been critical – she complains about a bad press and then takes actions which further fuel it. It wasn’t a surprise to hear today that her PR company have resigned from the account. They clearly weren’t behind the decision for her to appear on GMTV and later on 5 Live radio and must have watched in horror as their client buried herself in more awful publicity. They must have feared her actions would drag them down too. I do however have sympathy with her in one sense. She is seeking to ensure through European law that any retractions/apologies made in the press for patently inaccurate/misleading reporting is given similar placement and prominence as the original feature. It’s not likely to be something that most of us will have to worry about (I hope) and it might take her forever to achieve it but in this respect I wish her well. It’s an understandable beef. But I do still feel that her best course of action is to shut up, settle with Paul for $50m and just go and f**k off and lead a quieter life in the Bahamas. For our sakes too love.


heather mills mccartney

So HMM’s been hogging all the media attention this morning appearing on GMTV and Five 5 complaining about the fact that innaccurate media coverage has driven her to the verge of suicide. This apparently was the course she considered to protect her child (a bit odd) having received death threats. Having been told by the police to desist from calling the 999 service she has employed a private security firm to protect her and her daughter. Feeling more secure she is calling on Britain to stop buying tabloids. Comparing herself to Princess Diana and the McCanns she claims that she only appeared on Dancing with the Stars to pay her security bills and that she has never used the media to promote anything other than her charity work – apart from today presumably. Continue reading

voting fiascos – phone the BBC, ITV, GMTV, Channel 4, Channel 5

Is it just me or are you angry too about all the revelations over irregularities in premium rate phone calling/voting patterns affecting some of the most popular programmes from our national tv broadcasters? The BBC and Channels 4 & 5 have all been found to have cheated/misled their audiences. Even Sky, who have taken a lofty position over the issue, had to admit last week to ‘technical problems’ that had caused one of their contestants on Cirque du Celebrite to be wrongly evicted. Yesterday the Deloitte audit into 60 ITV programmes found ‘serious editorial issues’ over the way premium/voting lines had been managed. Some £7.8m will need to be refunded by the company as ‘problems’ were identified with more than 10m calls from viewers. Mind you that pales in comparison with the irregularities involving 25m calls to GMTV, who were recently fined £2m by Ofcom for ‘widespread and systemmatic deception’. You or I would be standing before a magistrate by now. Continue reading