Best of the West

Now I’m very conscious that I may have turned off my huge army of female readers with the last posting about 50 year old Yerkshire men in their trunks grappling with each other. So for something a little more contemporary and hopefully a touch more amusing and for all, I was just wondering if you’ve been watching the new programme on C4 A Very British Hotel Chain: Inside Best Western? This show is more fun than you’d expect, though maybe not in the ways intended. Here’s C4’s publicity image of the main characters…

 

Presumably Best Western thought a three-part series filmed in May last year would be a handy publicity boost for their 265 hotels, with its portraits of the wacky but lovable workforce. But thanks to the coronavirus it now looks more like a portal to a distant far-off time and a completely different business.

It did make me wonder fairly quickly what the point of this series was though. Cut to today and Britain’s largest chain has closed all but 60 or so of its hotels, presumably on a temporary basis, they must hope. And to be fair they are one of the few hotels staying open to give key workers in local authorities a welcome and convenient break from their work tackling the covid crisis. But sadly none of that comes through in this tv series which is very much played for giggles not serious business niggles.

So to the unintentional humour. It’s clear that a career in the leisure business demands a thick skin and eternal optimism and at Best Western’s HQ in York (back again – it could only be set in Yerkshire) they have tons of both. The new CEO Rob Paterson, an ex Aussie footballer, is just David Brent with an ozzie accent. He loves his slogans from the 1980’s with lots of exclamation marks like Beat Yesterday! Own It! Give a Shit! And his dopey staff  suck it up with gusto. Mark Stanley, head of hotel development, grins away and loves his staff to tell him how great he is. We saw him revelling in a sales, marketing and revenue conference, as staff were covered in pink gunk for charity. Brilliant! raved Mark, Best Western madness. Actually he might just have out-Brented his CEO.

Mark’s number 2 is ambitious Head of Acquisitions Terii (with two ‘i’s) whose job it is to sign up new hotels to the chain. We find her trying to get Marco White to allow his Rudloe Arms to join up. Marco teases her a little showing off his pixellated sexy artworks and larger than life images of himself to see what reaction he gets from her. But Terii’s (two i’s) made of stern stuff and won’t be put off. I love it, she replies, sniffing the scent of a deal being done.

Then there’s slightly camp and arch Alasdair, the wisecracking but ruthless hotel inspector who follows up on Terii’s (two i’s) new signings. He announced himself as if he were a righteous superhero: I am the hotel inspector. I cannot be bought. More sharply he mentioned that he likes to measure TV screens to see if they are as big as the new hotel claims. I pinched this out of my mother’s knitting box, he says, unfurling a measuring tape. She’s been dead for 20 years. Hard man eh. Then I noticed he’s quite the peacock, wearing wacky glasses and different brightly coloured socks. I wonder if you can spot him in the picture above.

There was also a lady whose name escapes me who’s a Marketing Manager at one of the bigger hotels and she just comes up with barmpot ideas for entertaining guests like creating a rocket ship cabin just off the foyer for people to experience. How it was relevant  I just couldn’t fathom. And it was totally crap. Unbelievable. And if you want to see how they magic-ed things up here’s what the whole marketing team supported by the CEO came up with for their Xmas promo campaign. If it makes sense to you, you might just need some therapy…

I was just shocked that they didn’t include the only funny line that exists about our four-legged friends – what do the donkeys on Blackpool beach get for lunch? About half an hour. Now Mark would piss himself at that one: BW donkey jossing, brilliant!

I’m tempted to ask what’s the difference between the BW senior management team and a donkey. They’re all asses but at least the donkey does something useful. Ouch

pp

 

 

 

M&S mess

I’ve got a dozen new postings rattling around in my head and can’t seem to find time to get them written. But I’m just faffing at the moment, watching a repeat of Frasier, and as this is just a quickie and I should be able to get it bashed out before you can say  ‘Goodnight Seattle’.  Continue reading

tv ads; curate’s egg

It seems like ages since I’ve  commented on any ads. They continue to entertain, confuse and annoy  me in roughly equal measures so I thought I’d give a mention to some of the ones which have caught my attention recently. 

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on the buses

Well this is the first posting in ages. We’ve been over in the UK, busy as ever, catching up with the family and friends and chasing business etc. I’ve just not had the chance to get any blogs done although look at all the stuff I’ve missed rabbiting on about: Obama’s oh boy! election victory, the collapse of the world banking system (though sadly not our bloody bank), the massacre in Mumbai, the whole dreadful baby P situation and those other earth-shattering news stories – Gaunty’s sacking from redneck radio (who’d have thunk it?), John Sargeant’s painfully funny Paso Doble, Ruth Lorenzo’s double-barrelled performances on X Factor and the dilemma over who is the biggest prize prick on I’m a Celeb GMOOH; Timmy ‘howls at the moon’ Mallett or that bleached blond gimp David van Day. The man who declared ‘I know women; I’ve been around them all my life -first with Bucks Fizz then with Dollar’. Well I make that just the 3 women then David during your illustrious career. I came across more than that every morning in the family bathroom. Continue reading

richard gere in bizarre ad

I’m not sure you’ll never see this ad outside Italy because I don’t think the Fiat giant markets the Lancia brand beyond this fair land (because they are so ugly). Anyway they’ve brought out a new Delta model which actually isn’t bad looking if you ignore the front view. To help launch it they’re recruited the acting talents of no less than Richard Gere. This must be a car aimed solely at women, although it doesn’t look like a typical Clio-esque sort of thing (if that sounded sexist I apologise but you know what I mean), because I do not know a single man who would find odd-ball Richard plausible as a car enthusiast. He’s hardly Top Gere is he? Continue reading

ING; NFG!

Well I think my recent postings on the blog have been a little down-beat so time to lighten things a bit with a real munter of an ad I saw whilst watching Sunday’s Grand Prix. It’s the latest from ING the asset managemnent company (I think) who have become major backers of the Renault F1 team. As with all companies who get involved with motorsport sponsorship, they can’t resist doing a corporate ad with the cars/drivers as the core theme. Remember that howler from Santander bank? Well this latest from ING is a lulu.

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