Back and still here

Well…I’m back online so all’s well. Kind of. I had the op last Monday as planned but because my life is always one step away from a drama, it got complicated. Half way through, with my guts out on the table, my heart arrested for four and a half minutes. A little longer and they would have been bagging me up. But after much effort it restarted and the op was completed. Six hours altogether for a 2 hour procedure. All the time my family were kept waiting for news because it was pretty touch and go it seems. That was one hell of a day for all of us but I’m home now and, although very sore, recovering steadily. I owe a lot to a lot of people but I’m not going to bang on here because I’m keeping this one for my book. It’s good to be back but even better to be still here of course.

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The C word

Well I think most people will have twigged by now from the occasional asides I’ve been dropping into recent postings that I was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago. Bummer eh. Anyway 7am tomorrow I’m off to hospital for surgery to remove the carcinoma from my bowel and any surrounding tissues. Then 6 months of chemotherapy beckons. I’ve had lots of cards, calls and texts today from friends and family wishing me well which is very kind. Then tonight a pleasant evening’s few drinks and meal at the infamous Anglers with my family. None for me of course.

Chill Bill: Volume 1

I used to think I had the best of jobs when I headed up the marketing team at Cellnet and then topped it when I became Head of Sponsorship at BT. Both roles had their difficult moments: at Cellnet I worked for some really twatty bosses (exceptions BMc and SA) whereas at BT I had a great boss but the bureaucracy was numbing. But that apart I had a ball, working with some great guys and doing some of the most cutting edge, award-winning and, let’s be honest, enjoyable marketing stuff you could imagine. And they paid me. Bliss. But here’s the thing, I think I’ve found the law enforcement equivalent of the very best job in the world. Well in the Met Police. Here’s a clue:

great genes

Medical update…….Gary Neville’s first punditry footballing words; ‘be careful what you wish for’. He was talking about a new manager. It’s so banal but so relevant to my own situation.

I had a sigmoidoscopy a week or so ago. I was reminded of Gary’s words before I spoke to the registrar yesterday after she’d consulted on my stomach problem. I was delighted to be told I didn’t have diverticulitis as I really didn’t fancy the idea of having that as an ongoing problem. The downside is I do have something else and I’m guessing it’s not good. And now I need a CT scan and another invasive filmic examination up my back passage, this time to the far far reaches of my colon. Oh deep, deep joy.  A slightly inflamed bowel lining seems like a not-too-bad condition now I think about it.

I’m not trying to anticipate  what the prognosis might be but here’s the deal. I know I inherited my father’s hair gene. The one which resulted in near baldness at 30. Thanks Dad. But is that the worst that can happen in life? Of course not. Believe it or not full-headed readers but being shaven-headed is massively more appealing to me than struggling with creeping baldness (though a lot of frigging extra shaving work).

My dad and his forbears I forgive. I can live without hair.  The problem is that I have more than likely inherited my mother’s Smith family gene for susceptibility to cancer.  It’s taken my mum, her brother and sister and own mother. I don’t know for sure as yet but I kind of suspect it given the coded language in which I’m being spoken to and the almost menstruating quality of my early morning sessions on the loo. Sorry to be so graphic readers. Would it have been so bad to have been blessed with my mum’s luxurious hair gene and Bob’s mild stomach issues? Lawdy where were you when it came to overseeing my family’s natural selection processes eh? I think the Great Architect must have had his back turned sorting out those pesky Yorkies when the Lancashire Smith family genome was being assembled.

Hey ho. Another bulletin this time next week folks

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medical update

Oh come on nurse, it can’t be that bad, can it?

Is that Jeremy Clarkson looking over his shoulder?

Well David Beckham’s gone and announced his retirement now but surely the biggest news item in this week was the publication of yet another of my postings in the fabulous high50 site. Alright David might have stolen the front page headlines but it was big news in this household I can tell you and I’m sure old Clarkson must be quaking in his Sunday Times boots at such an amusing new columnist. Long-standing readers may remember this posting about one of my early public appearance successes heading up the marketing function at mobile network Cellnet. I still blush today at the memory but you’re welcome to enjoy my indignity:

http://www.high50.com/blog50/my-stamford-bridge-humiliation

Goodbye Mum

Well it’s been a difficult week or so. My mum had left some directions about her funeral arrangements and I imagine there are always some family issues around the delivery of those very personal final wishes. The odd thing is how my mother’s death brought us together as a family after some initial difficulties over interpretation. We had a kind of shake-down and after that all went pretty smoothly in the planning. We even had the most positive and light-hearted interview with Michelle, possibly the best funeral director I’ll ever come across.

you’re what?

Now it’s just possible I may be last person to know this but I didn’t realise until the other day that President Barack Obama is a smoker. Well he was until last week when it was announced that he’d finally given up the cigs. Did you all know that – if so how come nobody told me?  It’s not a piece of news that’s going to shock western civilisation to its core but how is it I missed it?