a tale of two (?) managers

Have you ever seen Premiership managers Avram Grant and Gerard Houllier on the same touchline? Of course not because they are one and the same person. Foreign, misunderstood and unloved by their English peers and the club fans alike. They both have a disliking for the English winter weather, cloaking themselves in the largest club puffa jackets and scarves (occasionally thrown into the crowd), spookily both in claret and blue! Same hang-dog expressions caused no doubt by the constant rumours that their jobs are on the line. One works for a Randy Lerner; the other for a randy expert.Both haunted by the spectre of that bloody Martin O’Neill !!!

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zola: uptown boy at upton park

So what do you make of Gianfranco Zola’s appointment as manager of West Ham Utd then?  I think I can imagine what Alf Garnett would have said at the news – 3 words; one of them ‘a’, one ‘liberty’ and you’ll have to guess the middle one. Or may be not, as the reaction from the WHU fans seems fairly positive.

football forecasts: check this out

Well after my earlier posting saying how bored I was with the whole footie scene, suddenly it all kicks off. What a last 24 hours! And I have to say that several of my predictions have already kicked in:

–  Utd land Berbatov at last but what a frigging protracted saga. I got a call from my good mate Shay from the States a couple of hours before the transfer deadline, who’d just heard that Man City had made an audacious bid for the player. He’s a big Spurs fan (London boy) and was pissed that the club were considering selling a key player to a top 4 team. I think he could have lived with selling him to Bayern or Barca but Man U (or City) was too much after Keeno left for Liverpool. Fact is money spoke and once the bidding got beyond £30M, all those issues at board level at Spurs got forgotten (including the tapping up accusations against Man U). All very cynical. But I think the loan deal with F Campbell is inspired – how did Gill/Ferguson pull that off?

–  Wenger makes a last minute bid for Alonso. I said he was a great buy for Arsenal. But why did AW wait till the last minute to make the bid – by all accounts he had a £30M transfer kitty so why delay? I suspect AW wants to be viewed as the Prince of Parsimony because he feels the financial structure of the major clubs isn’t ethical. So was he looking for a last day bargain?  I suspect yes, but he’s short in midfield and I would have signed Alonso weeks ago. But despite having the money, AW missed out. Bad call in my view sorry PGOB but this was a player you absolutely needed in my view and could have had for less than £10M.

–  I said Curbishley would go soon but he has left within frigging hours. Bilic must be in the frame.

–  I also said Thaksin would sell up his interests at City but I didn’t figure he’d do it within 24 hours….So City are now owned by the Abu Dhabi bunch. Total fun. I cannot believe that they tried to high-jack the  Berbastov deal but I am absolutely delighted that they stole Robinhio from Kenyon’s grasp. Such fun. I can’t believe that Man City are backed by impossible wealth but bring it on. Roman Ab are you watching?–

–  Newcastle. I said it could implode and it looks like it’s about to happen wih Keegan’s apparent departure. Surely all they are discussing now is KK’s severance pay – it’ll no doubt be millions. Ah well Kev back to the football circus eh. They could go down. Sorry Lol.

Now that’s what I call a new season 08!!!!

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tevez in; smith out; shake it all about

I hate to tempt fate but it looks like the summer’s longest football saga is to end with Carlos the teeth Tevez joining Man U in next 24 hours. What’s more it looks like they’ve done a deal not a million miles away from the solution I proposed in an earlier posting – bloody cheek – where’s my cut Mr Gill?

tevez – sorted

No it’s not a news item I’m afraid. This story just rumbles on but I think I’ve got a solution if anyone’s interested. The problem is this:

– Tevez wants to leave West Ham and would be very happy moving to Man U.

– West Ham always knew it would end like this and presumably would be happy to see the back of him.

– Man U are negotiating with KJ the guy who actually seems to own Tevez’s economic rights.

– However West Ham promised the Prem League at an earlier hearing that they had resolved the issue over the players’ rights and although they didn’t present the evidence as such the impression was left that they owned the economic rights to Tevez and Mascherano.

– Because of this the PL sanctioned the loan move of Mascherano to Liverpool and allowed Tevez to play on for the final 3 matches of the season, in which he played a blinder and effectively won the last 3 games for WH, relegating Sheff Utd in the process.

– Now the Prem L are saying Man U have to deal with West Ham over the transfer even though every knows West Ham aren’t really in a position to do so. The PL are stuck; they can’t sanction the transfer as it stands as it would enable Sheff Utd to sue them for erroneously allowing Tevez to play on for West Ham. Likely damages £50M.

– If Man U pay West Ham a transfer fee KJ will sue West Ham for the loss of his economic rights. Likely damages £30M

– If Man U pay KJ the fee, the Prem League will charge Man U with tapping up the player and fine them punitively, poss £5 – 10M plus they don’t get Tevez.

So impasse and this week they’ll all toddle off to FIFA for resolution. Here’s a thought to resolve this quickly which depends on all the parties shaking hands discreetly of course.

– Man U pay West Ham the fee they’d negotiated with KJ to keep the PL happy. West Ham accepting the fact they weren’t expecting a fee pay KJ a ‘facility/consultancy’ fee for effecting the deal. It happens to be equal to the amount Man U paid them for the player less £1m for their troubles. KJ ends up with the same amount of money less a little bit (but better that than paying out for exorbitant legal fees). Man U get Tevez. PL are satisfied because Sheff U cannot sue. FIFA are happy because they don’t have to get involved.

Looks to me like a plan that might work. If all parties want to let me have a small consultancy for saving them huge amounts of time and litigation costs please get in touch. A 10 Q

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