Bloody hell

Well I thought last night’s match between Algeria and Germany was good but tonight’s last last-16 thriller between Belgium and USA was just sensational. Most tense match I’ve seen during this brilliant WC. I would have loved USA to do it but it wasn’t to be. And now we have the best 8 teams in the world left to contest the QFs. Oh my lord who’s going to win this super, super tournament? It’s going to be Germany isn’t it…..

Nuts about the Brazil World Cup

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Well I don’t know about you but I’m loving this World Cup. The football’s sensational and exciting (when England don’t play that is), the Rio scenery is stunning, the girls look, well, beautifully Brazillian and the broadcast coverage is just great fun. My fave moments so far:

10. The opening ceremony which was joyously rubbish. Danny Boyle’s smashed it for every Artistic Director for the next 20 years hasn’t he? ¬†Why was J-Lo there? Who was the Brazillian lass? What was wrong with the sound system? – I couldn’t hear a word of what was being sung. And who is this Pitbull character? He might have a street name that sounds all fierce and gangsta but he looked and danced like a gay Russian waiter. I loved it.

9. Colleen arriving in town yesterday evening with kids Kai and Klay and around 15 kases of Louis Vuitton luggage and immediately ran into a twitter storm for dragging her kids half way round the world for yet another holiday. She responded to the ‘thick’ trolls with a statement that it’s not a holiday; she’s out there to support her beleaguered husband Wayne for as long as England remain in the tournament. Well she should be back skirting around the favelas of Alderley Edge within a week or so then.

8. Phil Neville’s ‘expert’ analysis. His commentary is so flat and uninteresting he could make Southport sands seem positively Alpine. Listening to his droney voice is almost as amusing as his hair style – Bury chav chanelling Tintin. I’ve seen more sophisticated grooming on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

6. The BBC idents featuring the little subbuteo figures and those amazing street caricature graphics of the world’s leading payers. Brilliant.

7. Watching fat Phil Scolari having apoplexy on the touchline. Priceless. Loved it when Mexico drew with Brazil tonight – I’ve never rated their full backs Alves and Marcello and tonight they did me proud. Two glasses of caipirinha could defend better then these two munchkins.

5. Netherlands v Spain. Alright that knobhead Robben scored a cracker but RVP’s header was just a belter. Can we now say good bye to all that spunking over tedious tika taka Spanish football please?

4. Thierry Henry’s a sulky fuck but he looks effortlessly cool. Such chic dress sense, he makes Robbie Savage and Alan Shearer look like Steptoe and son in comparison.

3. Pirlo; any chance you could retire and stop torturing us, and Fellaini; any chance you could stop torturing us and play like that for Man U?

2. The Mexican goalie Ochoa, who gave the best stopper performance tonight since the inimitable Gordon Banks in 1970. Even Wenger might be tempted to splash out on him.

1. Talksport Radio’s official WC song; wrong on so many levels but I can’t get the damn chorus out of my head. Watch this and it’ll be in yours too….

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Dodgy food

Shocking news…I got chided by my lovely wife for posting the selfie with my two Bafta’s; not because it was just a little conceited (which might have been justified) but because it made me look like I’d had a mini stroke. Bit harsh. This was a bit of a surprise because I usually get told (and by some very close friends!) that my photos make me look like a child molester or that Victorian serial killer weirdo Bodkin Adams. Bloody cheek. I explained that I was winking rather than having a seizure because I was trying to imitate the famous bronze mask but I had another look and you know what…she may well be right. I do have a face for radio as we theatrical types put it. Continue reading

Nuts for Brazil

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Get in there son! This is the moment that I forgave Wayne Rooney for all his wingeing sins over the summer as he scored the first goal against Poland last night. What a great game it was too; I never thought I’d admit again to watching England and really enjoy the manner in which they played. Terrific stuff. Instead of trying to play slow possession football like Spain and failing miserably, we’ve actually re-discovered how to play like England again. Pace down the wings, lots of passion, strong and skilful forwards, balanced midfield, lots of tempo and yes mistakes too but only because we were pressing hard up the pitch. Credit to the manager too; I also thought Hodgson got his team selections just right in the last two matches. I never thought I’d say this either but well done Roy. All that pre-match nonsense about the insanity of selling 20,000 tickets to the Polish fans and handing them an advantage was just a load of baloney. Wembley for once sounded great with tremendous atmosphere which seemed to inspire the players. And now we can look forward to watching the playoffs without trepidation. I shall enjoy seeing Ronaldo and Benzema playing with fear in their eyes that they might miss out on the greatest venue for a World Cup finals. I hear the FA have already got the hotel booked in Rio. Wey hey. I”m not going to get all giddy about England’s chances but, if this team keeps fit, for once we can enjoy the challenge that lies ahead methinks. I’m not sure anyone will fancy having a resurgent England in their Group, well except Spain, Germany, Brazil, Argentina and….argh bugger it, bring them on! If all else fails we’ve always got Rickie Lambert. Remember when he used to lead the England line?

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