high speed writing

So there I was doing some last minute Xmas shopping in WHSmith’s in Kingston yesterday afternoon when I was shocked still in my tracks. There on its own huge promotional stand was the book that the world’s been waiting for; possibly the most eagerly anticipated autobiography by one of the men of the century. Was it something by Mandela or Barack Obama or Stephen Hawkings possibly? ┬áNo it was the book intriguingly entitled My Story written by that colossus on the world scene….Matt Cardle. Yep the part-time painter and decorator who won X Factor just over a week ago has found time to write his memoirs. That’s a truly incredible achievement for someone who’s been massively busy. And what a life story it must be. Unfortunately I was so stunned I had to go out and get some fresh air and didn’t get back in to buy the opus. I was running away.

Unbelievable? Here’s the thing if you live your life through others and feel compelled to go out and buy it…

It’s gotta be a cert for the Booker prize.


xmas gift service

Our friend Gill gave me a great idea for a service much needed at xmas time. You know the scene, you haven’t a clue what to buy your wife or girlfriend/husband or fella as a xmas present. And probably vice versa. To tell them what you want, what you really want would spoil the magic but you’re worried about getting the set of pans, peek-a-boo lingerie, a horrid green jumper or similar unwanted gift. Well why don’t you tell me exactly what you want, give me your partner’s e-mail address and I’ll drop them a festive message from Pasta Paulie’s A Little Bird Told Me service with all the relevant details.

It’s perfect: it protects you both from accusations of being non-imaginative and ensures you don’t waste money on crap presents that’ll never get used or worn! I could add a premium service which allows the recipient to confirm to me that they’ve got the said present or that perhaps they were unable to source it so they could ask me to ask you what else you’d like. In either case I’d let you know how things were going.

I’m very excited; no more trips back to the exchange department, no more disappointments, no more wrong sizes (come on girls does your fella know your exact bra size? – thought not!). All it takes is a little message to me and I’ll do the rest. Trust me; I’m an olive oil producer. If the service works maybe buy me a glass of wine next time we meet.

Buon Natale amici