If you’ve read my earlier postings and seen the avatar image you’ll know that I gave up the battle against thinning hair a long time ago. I’ve been visiting barbers on a weekly basis for my zero cut for years. One of them remarked recently that it would surely make more sense for me to shave my head – I don’t think his honesty will serve him well in business. So I tried it and it was easier to do than I had thought. I’d envisaged taking huge chunks out of my head on the dark side of the moon. But no problems so far except for around my ears.
Is it just me or do all men have ear skin which is tissue thin so that the slightest nick with a razor produces a deep gouge. And blood. I’ve never seen anything like it since the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. If there was an Olympic games for blood-letting, I’d be in GB’s elite squad. In fact I’d have probably won the Bleeding Personality of the Year several years running. It happens every day; left ear, right ear without fail. I’ve scar tissue to rival Jake la Motta. And every morning I delight C by walking into the bedroom with hugs wads of toilet paper stuck to the side of my head.
Long ago I once left home with bits of toilet paper stuck to my chin following a razor cut and only realised it when I caught sight of myself reflected in the window on the tube. I’d been travelling for an hour like that. And what’s the most discreet way to remove it when everyone’s seemingly watching you? Just make a joke of it and attract even more attention? Why don’t people say something at the relatively unpopulated bus stop in those circumstances? It’s so embarrassing. My fear now is that I’ll repeat the mistake except now I sport huge wads of the stuff to try and staunch the flow. It makes me look like Krusty the clown in the Simpsons which is a bit spooky as many people already say I look like bloody Homer (1 point).