whatever happened to….?

I know there are thousands of blogsites out there obsessed with today’s so-called celebrities and they all seem to focus on what Katie/Dannii/Cheryl/Simon et al did today. But I have a strange fascination with the faded celebrity, the ones who are no longer papped falling out of Chinawhite’s at 3am or seen gracing the diary pages of Hello, OK!, Now and the red top papers. Once they were titans but now they simply don’t even register a blip on the tabloids’ radar. How do they feel about that; are they relieved or heart-broken to be out of the public’s attention? Don’t you really want to know how their psyche’s been affected? No? Well I’d love to meet them now just to find out how a return to the quiet life is affecting them. You just know that some of them will be happy to potter about in the garden whilst others will try to hold on to faded glories and continue to act all luvvie/rock star and be the pathetic centre of attention on Saturday nights at the local Dog and Duck.

I was just thinking the other day about  a number of people who have simply disappeared from our media view when once they dominated it. Take the broadcaster David Coleman. This is a guy who dominated sports reporting for years with anchor roles on BBC’s Grandstand, Sportsnight, Sports Personality OTY, Question of Sport and the Beeb’s coverage of the Grand National, FA Cup Final and all UK athletics meetings, and who just happened to cover a mere 11 Olympic Games. But can you remember the last time he was seen on TV?  I know he’s getting on and all that but so is David Attenborough and he’s never off our screens. Just what did the guy, for whom Private Eye dedicated a whole section of its magazine content to his ‘Colemanballs’ unintentionally amusing expressions, do to justify this fall from grace? It’s hard to imagine that someone who so monopolised the screen and airwaves is simply retired and happy to be away from the public eye, but I could be wrong of course.

Some other names? What about Val Doonican who once was the God of Saturday night tv at the BBC. He’s still performing I read but when did he last appear on your radar? About the same time as woolly jumpers went out of fashion. Speaking of which whatever happened to Frank Bough – the sports broadcasting heir to Coleman who migrated to the early morning couch when 24 hour tv came in? He even managed to attract the most lurid headlines when he became the Max Moseley of his day when he became embroiled in a sex and cocaine scandal. What nice old uncle Frank? Oh yes. These days that would guarantee him a place in Celebrity Big Brother or I’m  a Celebrity GMOOH but baldie Bough went down like a broken bough and has never been seen since, not even in panto – the last refuge for the faded star.  For the geeks, whatever became of Prof Heinz Wolff or even James Burke who progressed from  Tomorrow’s World to front a whole series of science-related programmes in the 80’s and 90’s?

Women don’t seem to fare much better. Name anything that any of the girls from Charlie’s Angels did after the original show (other than Farrah FM) or the woman who was Wonder Woman? When was the last time you saw Valerie Singleton featuring in the current media news  or Calista Flockhart, Linda Kozlowski, Molly Ringwald, Tracey Ullman, Alisha’s Attic, Cindi Lauper or Yazz? It wasn’t today. And I could quote dozens more.

I even smiled yesterday when I read that the Leeds United-supporting guys from the Kaiser Chiefs were at the FA Cup match against Man Utd. Do you remember a year or so ago when they were on everything and everyone was humming Ruby, Ruby, Ruby? Since then….they could have been hermits for all the notice they’ve attracted in my media choices. I wouldn’t have reckoned on these guys being the likely lads for wondering whatever happened to….?

Any big name celebrity green bottles fallen from your wall in recent times?



12 thoughts on “whatever happened to….?

  1. Hi Paul- how about the following;
    Little & Large- TV saturday night stawarts
    Paul Daniels ( not forgetting the “delightful” Debbie McGee)
    Mike “and this is me ” Yarwood (is he dead ?)
    Pam Ayres, who had a poem for everything and anything- “I were here; now I’m not- just like a piece; of rolled up snot.
    Duncan Goodhew- baldie swimmer
    Peter Duncan – Blue Peter knob
    Scouse tw*t Jimmy Tarbuck
    Simon Bates- radio 1 saddo
    etc etc
    keep ’em coming PP !!!!

  2. Now then, now then….

    Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart
    Fred Dineage
    Anyone from ‘The Love Boat’
    Tattoo from Fantasy Island
    Peter Wyngarde
    Keith Deller
    Gary Numan
    The Reynolds Girls
    Don Johnson
    Elton Welsby

    There’s a million, squillion more I can think of (especially from music)
    H xx

  3. Hi Dave and Hel

    Some excellent shouts there. I once was a guest in the same box at Twickenham as Simon Bates. Over the course of 3 hours he managed to speak to the other 11 of us… not once. True. Friendly guy.

    And did you know that Peter Wyngarde, suave debonair star of Dept S and Jason King who had a bloody army of adoring female fans, liked nothing better than a bit of truck driver rough in public toilets? There was nothing quiet on the homo front with PW. His lover for many years was actor Alan Bates and those in the know would refer to them affectionately as Mr and Master Bates. Ooh sharp.

    Could have applied perfectly to Simon…..!

    Finally (and deliberately phrased) I’m pretty sure that Tattoo has faded, permanently…..


  4. All

    Did anyone listen to Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart on radio 2 on Christmas Morning?

    It was an absolute blast – “My Brother”, “Right Said Fred”, “Puff the Magic Dragon” & “There was I diggin this hole” all never sounded as good.

    The best thing was my kids really getting into it, and laughing at the jokes – one for the archive methinks.

    Chin chin


  5. Hi CC

    and hny!

    Missed that one but reminded me of those radio shows you used to get on the BBC before radios 1,2,3,4 etc. Wasn’t it Two-way Family Favourites on the Light channel?


  6. I think the two-way family favourites only happens in close families within certain communities (allegedly Tiverton & the Forest of Dean are the most common locations in the UK).

    Tee Hee


  7. On a serious level, a response for Dave in particular..

    Little & Large- TV saturday night stawarts

    Eddie Large – Eddie Large currently lives in Bristol, but as an avid fan of Manchester City he regularly drives up to watch them play football at Maine Road – [Enter appropriate derisory remark here]

    And, to explain why they don’t appear together anymore..

    Syd Little – In 1996, the organisation Christians in Entertainment invited several of the comics appearing in Blackpool to a comedian’s Bible Study in Bobby Ball’s dressing room backstage. For Syd, it was a revelation that changed his life. ‘It was there that I finally asked God into my life. We had a great time discovering how relevant he is to our everyday lives. Now I know that whatever happens, God is with me, and helps me through.’

    Ulp…. David Ike anyone!

    Paul Daniels ( not forgetting the “delightful” Debbie McGee)

    Still married to Debbie McGee, and still working on the variety circuit. His website says

    “Paul has entertained many millions of people from all walks of life both in this country and abroad.

    He continues to enthral audiences of all ages with a unique comedy style that never fails to impress, resulting in a truly magical and memorable experience for all”

    Only we know different!

    Mike “and this is me ” Yarwood (is he dead ?)

    In July 1990 Yarwood suffered a mild heart attack. The following year, 1991, he gave up alcohol. He has been tee-total ever since. In October 1999, he underwent treatment for depression at the Priory Clinic, Roehampton

    So not looking good then

    Pam Ayres, who had a poem for everything and anything- “I were here; now I’m not- just like a piece; of rolled up snot.

    Actually visited our village for a literary festival in the summer, so very much alive and still ‘performing’ – same old rough edged blue comedy!

    Duncan Goodhew- baldie swimmer

    He has made a number of television appearances including Dave Gorman’s Important Astrology Experiment.

    After the London protests during the 2008 Summer Olympics torch relay, Duncan Goodhew stated that the protests were “a bad example for children”

    Available for motivational speaking as well.

    Peter Duncan – Blue Peter knob

    Wouldn’t it be great to find out he had returned to making porn films, but no – More recently, he has written and directed Oxford Playhouse pantomimes. He took part in the Channel 4 series The Games. He played Macduff in Macbeth at Regents Park Theatre, London and filmed a documentary about the Scouts climbing Everest. His one man show Daft and Dangerous is appeared at the Edinburgh fringe, Pleasance Courtyard.

    Scouse tw*t Jimmy Tarbuck

    Full time dad to lovely Lisa, also recently in 2008, he returned to a variety format on television screens when he co-hosted, alongside Emma Bunton, an edition of ITV1’s new variety show, For One Night Only

    Now in panto in some seaside town, no doubt – or at least on the golf course.

    Simon Bates- radio 1 saddo

    Joined Classic FM in 1997 to present Classic FM at the Movies on Saturdays between 4pm and 6pm and Classic Romance. He has also presented Classic FM Drivetime and now hosts Classic FM Morning Show every weekday morning from 8am.

    One to avoid.

    Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart

    Having retired from broadcasting in 2006 he was back on Radio 2 this Christmas, doing Junior Choice.

    Let’s Rock!

    Fred Dineage

    Alongside his television career, Dinenage has written several factual books, including ghosting on autobiographies My Story and Our Story for the Kray twins. Indeed, Dinenage is widely credited with being the originator of the myth that the Kray twins “never did no ‘arm to no one.” He is a keen follower of Association Football, and was on the board of directors at Portsmouth FC for a number of years. [Lend us a fiver Fred]

    Dinenage became co-anchor of a new pan-regional edition of Meridian Tonight on Monday 9 February 2009, presenting alongside former South East anchor Sangeeta Bhabra.

    Fun finding out!


  8. 6.54pm 6th January 2010 – Pam Ayres on radio 4 with a poem about her dog .

    One mention on your blog and she’s back on mainstream media!

  9. wey hey. hi MR and HNY!

    and did you notice that another Pam (the Anderson branch) was in panto at our local theatre over xmas? I was hoping to take the boys but ir was fully booked every performance – by blokes in long macs.


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