Womensville

Well I figured it would only be fair to tell you about Bitches-on-the-Sofa, the sister village to Buttcrack Fullerfurze, which is home to all the annoying women I see in public life. It’s a strange little place, attractive in parts but you sense there’s been lots of cosmetic work done in a vain attempt to keep all the front facades looking fresh. It’s not a large place with just 3 main roads – Catty Lane, Dopey Drive and Needy Street.

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People who hail from Buttcrack Fullerfurze

It’s an odd title for a posting I grant you but I promise you it’s a real place. In my imagination. A place where annoying tv people with big egos, scant GCSE’s, weird personalities, a misguided sense of their sexual appeal (and occasionally hazy sexuality) and a strange style sense all live. Continue reading

Tom, let’s talk about Kit-e-Kat

I’ve written in the past about the use of celebrities in tv ads and admitted that we did the same thing at Cellnet, which became O2, in using Joan Collins and John Cleese in two really great ads…and Nigel Mansell and Brian Clough in some pretty wooden ones. I was also in the marketing team at BT, though well-removed from the decision-making process, when  it was agreed to use S Club 7 to front their use-the-phone-more ads.  I still shudder at the memory whilst Bob Hoskins is probably still spinning in his grave. It would have been good to walk…away from that deal. Continue reading

Hair racing

 
hamilton and mansell

 

 

Well that was a great victory by Lewis Hamilton in the US Grand Prix last week-end wasn’t it? You may also know that in the process Hamilton also overtook Nigel Mansell’s record of most GP wins by a British driver, which he’d held since 1992. Lewis now has 32 victories to Mansell’s 31, with 27 by Jackie Stewart, 25 by Jim Clark and 22 by Damon Hill. Which is quite a feat given that Lewis is just 29 and can hopefully look forward to racing for quite a few years yet.

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Tumble

Oh baby Jesus I’ve just watched the BBC’s latest attempt to showcase celebrities doing stuff outside their comfort zone. Entitled Tumble it features a bunch of C-listers doing tumbling and simple gymnastic stuff. It’s like Splash! but not as scary or fascinating, which makes it about as much fun as anal warts. It is beyond dire. It’s diarrhoea.

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George and the er Dragon

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Well did you catch the news this week that poor old George Michael has been struck down with another mystery illness? No it’s not a disturbing tendency to look increasing like Roy Keane. It seems that not one but two ambulance crews were called to his home after a ‘worried friend’ called the emergency services about George’s condition. They administered medical care for 4 hours before taking poorly George to hospital for emergency treatment, according to a spokesman for the ambulance service. Blimey he must have been a right old condition but fear not GM fans because his publicist, who’s clearly a medical expert as authoritative as that nice Mr Clifford, said he’d only been admitted for ‘routine tests’. So that’s alright then. Phew eh.

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