Well I guess that as I was critical of SJP and all that chick-com fashion schmaltz embodied in Sex and the City, I thought that I ought to redress the balance and have a pop at the least enviable vanity trait of the male of the species. I’m talking about hairpieces, you know those ridiculous bits of rug that male media personalities of a certain age take to wearing or weaving into their increasingly thinning scalps in the mistaken belief that a) it preserves their youthful looks and b) it’s so lifelike it’s impossible to detect. D’ya think?
Now I have to declare my personal position at this point. I lost the bulk of my lustrous locks many years ago and what’s left get’s shaven off every morning. It’s the baldness that people first notice whenever I meet someone new but I long since stopped feeling self-conscious about it and I’d like to think that it’s not the only thing they remember me for. If there is a curse attached to going completely bald, it’s an ironic one in that I spend more time on grooming each morning with ‘no’ hair than I ever did with a headfull (often with bloody results – as regular readers will know). It might well destroy a youthful look but who but the most vain and insecure or completely deluded would really want to look like a 22 year old at 52? Isn’t that the irrational quest for many media stars rather than follow the example of say, Sean Connery, who looked terrific as a hirsuite man in his 20’s but who looked even more handsome I’d suggest as a grizzled and grey-bearded bald bugger in his later years?
Instead our tv screens are filled with the most ridiculous follicle follies from the likes of Tony Blackburn, Eddie Jordan and the woefully-wigged Terry Wogan, who by all accounts has a collection of the rat-tailed rugs to match the length and increasingly greying tones of his natural locks. Take a look at the shots below to see what I mean:
It must be such a palaver every single morning to decide which one fits best. Wouldn’t it just be easier to grow old with some dignity and chuck the rugs out? Then it’d be Mr Wig-gone, Terry. I suspect it’s way too late for that.
But it’s in Hollywood of course that the desire to be seen to be defying the ageing process is at its most extreme. Did you know that Ted Danson was already sporting a hairpiece whilst he was enjoying his first flush of success with Cheers, even when he looked like this:
Some more shockers; well I understand that Michael Jackson was virtually bald by the time he died; pretty boys Mathew McConaughey and Ben Affleck have had hair weaves; John Travolta’s lost all his hair, Pierce Brosnan’s in need of extra thatching for his roles these days and action man Mel Gibson’s recently turned up with a remarkably thicker head of hair than in recent years. It’s mad Mel. Now here’s a thing, it’s even said that George Clooney’s hair isn’t natural. He had a receding hair line 12 years ago and it’s as straight as an arrow across the forehead now. How on earth did you manage to defy mother nature George? Probably got inside her pants….
Who’da thunk it eh? Sorry girls.
Still it could have been worse ladies; he could have chosen Burce Forsyth’s wig-maker for his trusty syrup. Now that would have been not nice to see:
Is it just me? Who’s your top toupee trooper? The more shocking the better.